be gentle with myself

Since I didn’t have the chance to travel out of town this past week (as I had once hoped to do), I took extra-good care of myself here at home this weekend instead. Among other things, I:

• indulged in a lovely meal with wine at my favorite local French-style restaurant on Friday evening
• went to the farmers’ market on Saturday morning & have been making lovely meals with that produce ever since
• lounged about & read a book for most of the day on Sunday

smile

Handled my work obligations today in such a way that I was able to get back to the house somewhat earlier than usual (& took a nice & snoozy late afternoon nap once home)! smile

Reorganized my schedule in such a way that I saved about three hours drive-time over two days. Every little bit helps! smile

I came home & took a very long & apparently much-needed nap this afternoon (which enabled me to get some work done from home this evening, so that I’m not too far behind).

I hope the nap has helped me to catch up with my sleep deficit (I just didn’t feel rested after the weekend, which I am usually lucky enough to do): I’ve really been “dragging” lately.

I took good care of myself both this morning & this evening!

In the earlier case, I slept an extra hour, since I’d set the alarm ‘way early in order to get some work done, but then realized upon waking that I might be catching a cold, & decided that I needed the sleep more than I needed to do that work this particular morning. grin

In the latter case, I came home via the grocery store, where I took advantage of many good fruits & vegetables that they had marked down on account of their approaching the “sell-by date.” As a result, I’m having a lovely supper this evening with a variety of healthy yummy foods that I wouldn’t ordinarily have on hand, but which I treated myself to, thanks to the sale. smile

This was the case in how I treated myself once I (finally!) got home this evening. I had a hot-hot bath & some comfort food (grilled cheese sandwich & lentil soup), & now, having spent time on 43Things, I’m going up to bed early with a heating pad & a book! smile

a great deal of regret, as well as some guilt & anxiety, that I had “fallen short” in terms of connecting with & being supportive of LF during the past few months. I felt – & still believe – that (despite the best of intentions) I had let her down during a difficult time.

When we unexpectedly met today, we had just time enough for a short-but-warm-&-glad conversation. Having experienced her kindness & concern & forgiveness (although she insisted that there was nothing to forgive), I’m resolving to treat myself as gently as she treated me: to let go of the feelings of regret, guilt, & anxiety, & to be more consistent in my friendships (with her & others) in the future.

probably entitle this entry “Be Indulgent With” rather than “Be Gentle With Myself….” grin

I went out to supper Thursday evening with two work colleagues in order to celebrate the end of our projects. I had a wonderful salad, a great steak, lovely steamed fresh asparagus (& a taste of my friends’ yummy side dishes: maple-mashed-sweet-potatoes and sweet corn medley); then, for dessert, I had a nice single-malt whisky (Lavagulin 15).

WOW – WOW – WOW

(Now what was that again, about “illegal, immoral, or fattening”? grin)

not circumstance-wise, but emotionally.

But through the moments of tears (that surprised me) I tried to remind myself more than ever that it will pass. That I was just releasing what had not been expressed before.

And it brings calmness. Even my dreams have been calmer and more peaceful. I’d love for them to stay like that someday.

I’m tired of struggle invading even into my dreams.

I got some necessary vaccinations yesterday, I’ve given myself permission to sleep as much as I want to & need to this weekend, in order to get past the sore arms & achy/tired feeling before work again on Monday.