get out of here

does anyone else feel the whole trapped rat vibe? i’ve never felt that before so its intreguing but still… somethings gotta give. I want to find somewhere i can get lost- not literally like i-dont-know-where-i-am lost but the other (certain) people don’t know where i am.

only time will tell if i get out of here.

Well, I just wanna get out of where I’m living now, to somewhere new. To see something new, meet new ppl and get to know more about different culture.
but i havent got any money, which I won’t be allowed doing this until I work enough for it!

My dad moved back to California a few months ago and he called me last night. He suggested that I move to Cali with him. I also talked to my girlfriend about moving there. I told her that my dad wants to pay for transportation, and maybe even deposit on an apartment. She never really liked my dad, but she told me how nice it was to have a father who is still willing to help me out. I talked to her about it for almost an hour, and she seemed excited. The only thing now that stands in my way is time. She turns 18 in a year and 1 month. I just have to wait till then and I can finally get out of here….

Well, I’m a 24 year-old finally choking on all the lies I’ve been living and I want out. I want a real life: I want a family who loves, accepts and encourages me, I want freedom to love, I want to study, and explore a zillion different things before I settle down in my chosen career, and I want freedom of religion.

First, I’ve got to decide that I’m okay with that.

Then, all I have to do is figure out a way to make my conservative control-freak homophobic Catholic parents understand that their lovely daughter is a free-thinking, wanderlust-stricken lesbian and fledgeling Wicca—and hope they still love and support me for who I am.

Piece of cake. (Yeah, right.)

I guess it’s like they say, every journey starts with the first step, right?

have you ever seen the steven king movie 1408…?
My home town is sort of similar in the fact that it draws people back to itself and if you ever leave its just a trick to ease your mind you’re actually still here.. I achieved this goal three years ago, but i managed to find my way back so i see it as a failure.
Here we go again…

EDIT : May 8th, 2009

Just like I said in my previous comment I keep getting drawn back to the same boring ass town that I grew up in. The chances of me returning here are very good seeing as most of my family and friends live here, but what can ya do.. I’ll get out again.

really getting out of ‘here’ would mean to get my own place, and to get my own place would mean that i have enough money to stand on my own two feet.. i wonder when that’ll be…

as of now, i get a new room on campus..

it would be so beautiful, tho.. if i could buy a cozy little house or apartment one day… put all my poetry books and more books, and the things that i love.. (ideally, somewhere near the beach, somewhere peaceful where the neighbour will play a jazz record in the background.. i just love it).

also maybe one day, with the person i’d be in love with :)

I WANT TO GET OUT WHERE I AM NOW AND TAKE ME AWAY AND GIVE ME AIR AND LET ME GO FOR WHAT EVER I DID

time goes by when you’re having fun…. i’m gonna make it fun so it’ll whiz right by.

lol smart, rg?

College: check.

and i have left before but i got sucked back in. my family misses me when i leave. my mom is dependent on me in a way, I’m dependent on her in a way. And we’re very close and I love them. But this place sucks. There’s nothing here. Except the people i love which means alot. But I’m not happy.