write in my journal again

I wrote in my journal last night for the first time in almost 1 year and 2 months. I wrote! It felt wonderful to just let all of my emotions regarding my brother passing out. I was so afraid of writing those words down and writing them down felt like more therapy that I could have imagined. Plus I wrote last night on Brian’s 40th Birthday. I am so glad I finally got it all down on paper and cried a lot of it out. I really made me feel better!

This is a great one. I have partial journals all over the house. I got a lap top and started my journal on that. It’s better than writing because now I have a password and don’t have to worry about people finding it under the mattress. My entries have gotten longer and more in depth cause keyboarding is quicker than writing. It’s like I am unburdening myself. Sorta talking to a friend who is there just to listen. The trip is to go back and read stuff you wrote in the past and it’s like, “Damn, I did that?!” It’s also going to help me write my story one day!

I am going to make myself sit down and write in my journal this weekend. I still do not want to wrote about my brothers death, but I know I need to for myself. Writing is a nice release of all you feel but dont want to say to anyone. I believe this weekend will be a good start. I am going to sit down Saturday with a pot of tea, my cigarette, a box of tissues, and my journal. And I will write. I will write all the sab, all the bad, the wonderful happy and everything in between. I will do this tomorrow!

So many things have happened that I want to keep and write about in my journal. Many funny silly not important to anyone but me moments. And I am missing out on writing about them becuase I have yet to sit down and write since my brother passed away. I just can’t make myself write about that moment in my life. But I need to because I am missing so many more things to write down.

Still have not managed to do this….......

So I have been journaling for about 3 years. I found that it really helps me out to just sit and write down everything. But I havent written since May 18th. You see May 19th is the day my brother died. And I just know how I am going to go about writing all that down. So I have not put down a word since then. I have so much I want to release but I just cant imagaine right now actually putting all of those feelings down.

woohoo!!! day one!!!