Not settle.

I married a man that loves me unconditionally, I let go of my best friend after she became vindictive and draining, I quit my job so that I could no longer be a pawn in someone else’s game. I’d say I’m finally on the right track with this one.

I got a job I’m excited about, and we decided to keep the house for a little longer. No wonder that I’m feeling SO MUCH more confident and focused right now. Sometimes I don’t realize the extent to which something’s REALLY bothering me until it’s over. That uncertainty was just making it hard to even function effectively at all!

considering I don’t know where I’ll be working or living soon because Hubby (my sense of security) is leaving to go into the military. I need to be mindful that in my unsettled state I might just be tempted to accept the first job offered, or the first house to rent that takes dogs.

This is a chance to re-make my life into something that I can enjoy and be proud of. I’m going to have to learn to provide MYSELF with a sense of security. For that I will need a GOOD job and a GOOD place to live.

Just because I’m FEELING so uncertain about my whole life right now doesn’t mean I need to behave that way, though. I wanna be like a duck, frantically paddling beneath the surface, but calm, cool and composed – as far as anybody can tell – from up above. :-)

Having said all that; I NEED TO restart my running regularly, for stress relief. I feel like I did before I started smoking again in 1994. I haven’t smoked since quitting in December of 1997, and I don’t THINK I’ll ever restart, but the feeling that I’m going to fly apart into a million pieces at any moment, if some things don’t get worked out, is a strong and uncomfortable one.

since i am a princess, i am not going to settle for less that i deserve