Get my depression under control

ive read other peoples entries. Most of you are taking medication. BUt i dont think i am allowed medication because I abuse tablets… I tend to take sleeping pills when Im drinking ( I know its wrong) but I genuinely think i am PRONE to depression no matter what I do. I am aaaaaaaalways depressed sometimes for no reason. I am 16 and I have tried to kill myself 4 times… something i am VERY ashamed of. How do I get my depression under control?? I am seeing a therapist who is useless even though I am trying to work with her as much as I can!!! How do I propose to my parents that I think depression medication would help me??? and how do I convince them that I wont abuse the medication if I get it??? because I just want to be happy….....

That’s all it took. Do I still get depressed sometimes? Of course I do. I am human afterall. Do I cry uncontollably and for little reason now? No, that’s why I can say my depression is under control. I love this new feeling. Lexapro 10 mg. once a day does the trick for me.

Look for the good in everything (including yourself, the world, what you believe in, and what you know is right)

As I realize, I have had this all my life but since I always done what needs to be done, They have a problem seeing me having depression. I hide my weaknes from people and don’t know how to show what I hide. I am in school, in my forth term. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I just want to stay in bed and wait until my day comes to leave this world. I have no interest in living.
People speak of God as if he can fix everything if you believe and go to church every week. I do not have the money for gas in order to go to a church that I’m semi comfortable with. Then there is the tithings. They say if you pay your tithing you will recieve way more than you give. I do not believe in things that I do not see.
I take Wellbutrin but it makes me sleepy that I cannot focus on the schooling.

I’ve been on two antidepressants - Wellbutrin and Lexapro - for a couple of months now.

My doctor had put me on Wellbutrin alone for a while, but it did nothing for me. Months later, after I had stopped taking it, my doctor put me back on it and added Lexapro, and it was almost an instant lifting of the clouds around my brain.

I’ve still yet to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to supplement this medication, because my husband and son have just changed family shrinks. But I continue to be in informal counseling with a Stephen Minister (who has since become a dear friend) through church, and have found the greatest strength in God through his Holy Spirit.

I’m resigned to the fact that I will always be prone to depression, but I intend to continue being diligent in keeping that tendency under control.