Stop ruining everything that's important to me

I figured out that I have a fear of success.

Fear of success is actually a fear of delayed failure. It’s a fear of suceeding, having people believe in me and give me responsibility and then somehow stuffing it up.

I guess that’s why I seem to sabotage myself.

I think I need to be really aware of when I am sabotaging myself with negative thoughts, attitudes and behaviours. I’ve got myself into this stupid habit of having very little belief in my own ability and constantly needing validation from other people. And yes, it’s seriously got to stop.

I think sometimes I’m a bit of a self-fufilling prophecy. I’m convinced I’m not good enough and its like I also want to convince other people that I’m not good enough, so that they’re not disapointed in me when I inevitably stuff things up.

I really don’t know what to do about this.