When I was a kid, around 8 to around 12, I was a pretty cute little boy. I got lots of attention from women and girls. I had a pretty active curiousity and was always organizing something for my friends to do. I lied and got a paper route. Then my Mom ran from my Dad and took us to Mexico. There, the girls gave me a lot of attention and the boys wanted to kick my ass. Then came back to a surfing community in San Diego. I’d always been afraid of the water, so surfing wasn’t a priority, but in Pacific Beach, you surfed or you didn’t exist socially. So I learned to surf. My body started changing and all of a sudden I went from being this cute little boy to apparently an unattractive adolescent boy. Now the girls teased me as much as the guys. Then to top it off I got a horrible case of acne. My life was miserable. I tried so hard to keep up with the “cool” kids and yet act aloof at the same time. I took on this surfer persona that wasn’t really me then nor now, but it’s funny how much of that 20 years later is still a part of my basic personality. I guess I’m still trying to get back to the time when I was the cool kid on the block, but you can’t go back. What I’d really like is to FEEL comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes I really do, other times I’m good at acting as if i do. But to get to a point where it just comes naturally all or most of the time. Now that would be cool. 7 years ago
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