quiet my mind

My mind is CONSTANTLY racing…constantly on the go. Sometimes I just want it to be quiet. Maybe I’d have less migraines and nightmares.

When a friend calls up to see if I want to go do something, I say okay more often than I actually want. I don’t to be be a slug and end up seeing people less and less, and I really do like my friends. But to pursue quieting my mind, I need to say no thanks more often. I am a person who needs more time away from the world than others. But I’m aware of needing a balance, and it would be easy to go too far in either direction. I hate TV shows for making life look so easy! Problem solved within 30 minutes (including about 12 minutes of commercials).

It just struck me hard how nuts it is to tell myself I’ll work on quieting my mind as soon as I find the time! Crazy.

A friend told me about thefuckitway.com by John Parkin. I subscribed to it for email messages, and I really like it. He calls it, and a book he wrote, “Fuck It, the Ultimate Spiritual Way.” Again, I doubted it would offer anything helpful, but it goes along with the relaxation/live in the now CD I actually did find helpful.

The messages remind me to open up and listen to my self, live in the now, let go of useless, distracting, unnecessary things, etc. He says, “F**k It is about moving from a position of being out of synch with the flow of life and our bodies into one where we let go into this flow and trust ourselves (and the flow of life) fully.”

Until I make that frame of mine a part of my daily life, I appreciate the reminders.

I listened to a CD with a walk-thru on living in the moment and in the body, not just the brain. It actually did help me quiet my mind and just “be.” I’ve never trusted that kind of self-help talk stuff, but as it walked me through sensing and relaxing each part of my body, I really did become more aware of that part and even felt…I don’t know how to describe it…but I felt a definite sensation of awareness at each step. It did relax me! I practice now when I’m sitting still or laying in bed, and I think this is going to help.

I’ve learned there’s a big difference between spending time alone and having quality time alone or being able to quiet my mind. I do spend time alone, probably too much. But it’s rarely quality time and I don’t have quiet inside my mind. I’m always looking to fill it with something – books, Internet searches, music, heavy thinking. I guess it takes practice and real effort to block that stuff and reach inside for the quiet. I want the kind of quiet that I can take with me, too, even when I’m with other people.

im not sure how im doing on this. im a teacher, so a lot of my day is hectic and busy. but i notice that when i do get a moment between classes, or a free period i often spend some time reflecting on my teaching practice and the students.

i feel like the act of holding the experience, pausing and reflecting, even in the middle of a busy day, might indicate some progress toward this goal.

I have been working towards this for a long time and I am finding some success in recent changes I’ve made to my life.

• I decided to do what it takes to be happy even though for a time it will be more painful than sitting still.

• I came to the realization that if my needs weren’t being met I needed to take responsibility for that and make changes.

• I started getting up early in the morning before anyone else in my house. In those wee hours I’ve started practicing yoga and meditating and praying each morning. This has done an incredible amount of good and I give it a good bit of credit in getting me to the first two realizations.

These changes have created more peace in my life and have brought my mind to a more tranquil place than I have ever found in my life.