make peace with my hair

I never had real trouble with my hair-
I like it how it is and I am not taking care of my “Frisur” more than I have to-
but since in every quarrel with Robert he mentions that my hair should be so different I grew insecure-
I was thinking about it more and more-
but to be honest: that is not my main concern.
I do what I want for it and if he does not like my hair : its his problem.
he never touches it, for example- as if it was grouse or dirty-
I would like it to be touched, caressed sometimes.
but badmouthing only, without telling exactly what is wrong in his opinion (it should look like it did two years ago??)
I should try to forget about it , because itmakes me nothing but insecure.
what do you think?

he complains for example that I put it togehter wit a rubber band-
wtf! I have to work a lot and would like to see what I do-
and it is my hair anyway.
I am angry for the insecurity it gives me.

the funny thing is that he also started complain about my cats fur- because he is a senior sir, he is not taking care of it like he used to- and he does not really like it when I brush his fur (he hates it) so I mostly leave him alone and just help with big trouble fur issues- and he gets dread-knots sometimes-
so what?
Robert complains about that also-
o its my fur and my cats fur that is not okay.
but I think it is- perfectly okay!

Thanks to a new haircut that allows me to grow out my hair, and thanks to finding products that work, I`m slowly making peace with my hair (and I`m looking forward to my hair being long enough to put in a pony tail on a bad hair day ;-))

If I didn´t do anything to it, it would be ash blonde, curly/wavey and very dry. I have tried everything: long, short, medium, platin blonde, honey blonde, brown, highlights, lowlights, ponytails, pixie cuts, bangs, no bangs, whatever. I am never satisfied with what my hair looks like :-(
Now I´m determined to make peace with my hair: I´ll grow it out and let it return to its natural color. Maybe a few highlights or something, but I´ll stop trying to look like someone with very diffent hair ;-)

It has been two months now and I can say that I have made peace with my hair. This was not a hard goal to complete. When I went for my surgery, hair was the last thing on my mind. I just stopped taking care of it. I didn’t care what my hair looked like. Now I aim to put my best face forward. This means, getting my relaxers when its due, shampooing and conditioning in a consistant manner. I am making changes in my life and this is just one more step in the journey.

I actually went to beauty school, graduated passed the written test with a 92% and passed the practical with 100%. Until I got sick, I was licensed and working in the industry. Of course that is when I found out that I HATE CUTTING HAIR, customers will suck the life out of you, management is not what it is cracked up to be and I am not a people person.

Done.

apparently I don’t have to do ANYTHING to my hair for it to be cute. I just have to part it, then wait. I always get anxious when it dries. It looks SO GROSS. Then I play with it, try to make it look cute, but I just make things worse. But a few weeks ago, after swimming with friends, I didn’t touch it. And it LOOKED GOOD. It’s curly, but not extremely so. Just enough to separate into individual locks.

I’m satisfied.

At least for now. I don’t always love the way my hair looks, but I love it most of the time, and I’m learning more and more about what I can do with it on days when it doesn’t look great all by itself. I know for certain that it needs little if any shampoo, loves honey with conditioner, and needs to be handled as little as possible to maximize the natural curl.

I’m not done with my slightly vain hair goals, though! Next goals are to grow it longer (I’m thinking bra strap length at least), and along with that, learn how to style it in cool yet relatively unfussy ways. I’m not going to ever use hairspray or hot curling or straightening irons – I’m talking about learning to use hair sticks, hair forks, combs, and clips to create styles that are professional-looking but not severe.

I just wanted to share this low-cost beauty secret with you guys. It’s not just for curlies – I’m pretty sure most hair will benefit.

There are lots of ways to use honey on your hair. What I’ve been doing: mixing a blob of it with my conditioner, letting it sit for a bit, and then rinsing it out (cool/cold rinse). If I can figure out how far to dilute it, I want to try leaving it in sometime.

Honey is a natural humectant – I notice that it leaves my hair more moisturized than conditioner alone. Also provides a nice shine and a bit of curl/wave definition.

Any ol’ honey will work; you don’t need the expensive stuff. Be aware, though, that it can have a lightening effect on hair. So if you have colored your hair and you don’t want it to fade, do not use honey. I have read that molasses can be used in the same way and does not lighten hair, but I have not tried it and can’t vouch for it now.

I just got compliments from three – THREE! – different coworkers. I sort of don’t believe them completely, but I sort of do, too.

My hair is bigger than usual today, I think. But that’s much better than flatness or limpness.

Plopping, and then basically leaving it alone, seems to be the way to go. I didn’t even dry it today. Maybe I shouldn’t, ever, or at least not now that it’s getting warmer outside.