get ready

All of a sudden all these important events seem to looming.

Garage Sale again tomorrow AM

Start new job next week (yay! Thank God!)

May have to travel out of state for week-long training, week after next

Having DIL’s baby shower at my house in 8 days, at my house

Finish kitchen remodel by then (mostly sanding, painting, and re-assembling everything at this point)

My grandson’s due later this month.

MIL and FIL are coming to stay here for a bit soon.

I want to start training to run another marathon.

Still wrestling with the question of where to live; considering an apartment or rental house. Perhaps staying here. Who knows how this will work out. It will, though.

I’m feeling pretty okay about everything. All I can do is my best. If my house is perfect and immaculate (which it won’t be) then fine – if not, then it’s not the end of the world.

too much change ahead of me

too much clutter everywhere

too much expected of me

too much energy demanded

too much emotional baggage

too much to feel and cope with (the good, the bad, and the terrifying included)

My husband is leaving the state(should he be accepted into the mlitary program he’s applying to). I’m staying here.

I’m looking for a teaching job; which will probably consume my time and energy for at least the first few months, I’m sure.

My first grandbaby is on the way.

I need to find a cheaper place to live, as Hubby’s military pay won’t support this big house we have now (I’m not too sad about that. I’m ready).

So, weeding out what’s necessary to take and what to sell, donate, or trash is an overwhelming chore. So is the thought of getting this house market-ready.

One reason I want to get a job in a classroom this summer is so I can have a place to stick all my teacher stuff.

I need to be in fast-motion, but instead am deep into the immobilizing apathy that precedes a major bout of depression.

It’s 2:30 A.M. and we woke to the sound of Ricky (our dog) crying and freaking out. Hubby is out walking him now (walking helps him somehow). I can’t (don’t want to) go into detail.

Hubby and I both agree that he is suffering. I think I’ll be taking him to the vet tomorrow instead of going into work.

I have the distict feeling that we won’t have him much longer. He’s drinking a ton of water and peeing in the house (which he’s NEVER done). He seems more confused and has trouble getting up, onto his feet, sometimes.

Our vet had us start him on Coenzyme Q10 supplements. He ran a lot of tests and we’re going to start him on meds for low thyroid function today. We’re also starting him on prescription dogfood with lots of antioxidants in it.

The vet told us he has trouble with his “pacemaker” part of his heart. If he were a human, he’d probably have an electronic pacemaker inserted for it. That and his slow heartrate are contributing to his senility by not getting him enough oxygen to his brain.

This dog is so special to us. He was my son’s best friend from age 5 on up to when he moved out. He used to “put the boy to sleep” for us every night (on his bed), then trot back into the living room to where we were after our son was sleeping.

Hubby and I both feel like he’s not suffering. His appetite is good and he’s still enthusiastic about chewing his rawhides, and happy to be with us and get “ear noogies.” I’m praying that I can be unselfish enough, to keep him from suffering when the time comes. It would be easy to be in denial just to keep him with us longer.

We’re having our “Christmas” with son and DIL (and possibly her mom) then. I still need to shop for Hubby’s “big” gift. No ideas really, yet.

I’m roasting a ham with roasted vegetables. We HAVE to have steamed cabbage because the more you eat of it the more money you’ll have in 2007, and Black-Eyed Peas – same principle, but for luck, not money.

I want to make this Chocolate/Khalua/Spice Cake w/ chocolate glaze icing that I saw in a magazine, too.

I’m sad that after that, Holidays will be over. It’s almost time to get back to regular life again. Sigh…

for my mom tonight…
I need to make her favorite cookies.. Gingerbread Cookies.
Get her perfume for her gift and wrap it.

for party tomorrow…
Make cookies to take.
Bring a thermos of coffee

for trip..
get our bags packed with the stuff I’ve been piling up all week to take. Gifts are already in the suitcase ready to go! Remember not to buy any more gifts HERE for Florida. Bring cookies. Get stuff for the carryon bags… reading material, snacks, charge up mp3 players and load songs.

Shave legs!!!

Print out pics at grocery store to take to work.