find meaningful work

So I’m unemployed. Haven’t been for more than 7 1/2 years so it’s kind of a novelty. Also, yeah, I’m glad to be out of that particular job, which had increasingly seemed to be wasting my energies, and maybe even wasting them away.

Now I have the opportunity to start fresh!

And I have career counseling, severance, and etc. to plan my new start. So go me. No time to lose I suppose, but I’m not going to rush this week. I hope to have a decent resume by the end of this week, and maybe a couple other minor accomplishments, before I start applying.

The big question is: What should I seek out?

Because that’s what I did today. A company I do business with, a financial services company actually, wanted to do an in-person interview with me after I stumbled through their online questionnaires. I did that mostly just out of freak factor, because I give others my money to manage because I don’t care about money, and don’t care to learn much about it. I’m not a money geek. So the idea that they might think I was a prospect for selling financial services seemed way out of left field.

I turned down the interview. Yay me. Oh, maybe I could have gone and done it for practice, but why fucking bother if there was no way in hell I’d have taken the job? It was a waste of their consideration already; I’m not going to waste face time on them, or cause them to waste it on me.

I just about quit Friday. I kept my mouth shut as my manager announced yet another change in job description, when I wanted to scream.

But I was prudent. I contained the anger at being manipulated yet again even as my ability to listen evaporated. I kept the job, and stewed a few hours, blew off some steam, and slept like shit all weekend. I’m nearly 39, and maybe it is a conceit that I think I can just impulsively walk out the door…

Today I went to work as normal. I did what I needed to do, and I allowed myself to hear the actual projects they want me to do. Very doable as it turns out. And the rules are clear. Which is a step in the right direction. I suppose my prudence paid off. Whatever power struggle was going on in the home office, I’m going to be OK.

Or I will quit. One thing I determined over the weekend is that while I have something to lose, and I won’t do it impulsively, I will protect myself if after serious reflection and further evidence I see I am being fucked with. I can find another job, as I told more than one person.

But a job with meaning… hmm, if that’s my standard, it ain’t gonna be easy, stay or go.

What I’m doing now, it’s mostly avoidance of work. I blame holidays. I blame having to work for a company that reorganizes a few hundred employees out of a job around the holidays. I blame my former management team for besmirching my name in service of not giving my former employees a fair shake. I blame a lack of trust which is generated from the top.

My current manager does trust me though. I produce what I’m asked to produce, not what I want to produce at this point. What I want to produce is a shakeup at the top, a shakeup in corporate culture, a shakeup of priorities that the stockholders, bless their pea hearts, would maybe not reward.

That would be meaningful. Happy Chrisnukkah.

I discovered this week that I am a consultant in Business Processes, specializing in process improvement. In other words, re-engineering corporations.

I have yet to discover if it’s meaningful.

It’s challenging though, and that’s something. I have direction and will have to stretch my brain!

I guess I want to do that.

I will also not be traveling as much as with the previous job. That’s definitely a good thing, and an encouragement to look for real estate.

Would do it again

Hi,

few minutes ago I found this site. Looks like a great project, but then I feel it’s a bit DEAD. No brainstorming is happening.

What about to start now?

I feel I’ve a direction or few I want to do and I’m doing it a bit alredy, but it’s still not as I would like it to be.

1) photographer – the dream job would be shooting for National Geographic. I’m doing a bit of photography already, but I won’t feed me.

2) working in enviromental organization – people who are aware of what’s happening to this planet and working towards to sustainable life (renewable energy resources to become independent from oil)

3) helping people in crisis – emergency health care provider (i’m just starting this now, eventually it will take about 2 years of more eduacation to get get to a higher level to do more). Well, but I’ve to say I’m still dreaming about the option 1 and 2. I see that even medical area is a big bussiness (i would say bussiness first, care second) that troubles me a bit. And often emergency care is towards old folk forgotten in nursing homes, simply dying – as in the sociaty as we’ve created only death in a hospital is “acceptable”. I would like to hear some opinions on this too…

i would almost forget about another “dream” – fully sustainable life on farm.

Imagine your farm, some animals, garden, trees and bees for honey . Grow your own food and life in a very slow and peaceful way of life and when you time comes, just come out and lie down under an old tree that you planted yourself and leave peacefully with the sun on the face and eternal music of the wind playing with the branches. Quite different the rushing code 3 lights and siren to the hospital with strangers and oxygen mask on your face. I guess this one will be somewhere between option 1) and 2) (or maybe even first – I’ve a hard time with this one)

... well it’s a long process anyway, no-one can decide now. You have to get some life experience, taste something to find what’s your best flawour…

Not recommended by anyone or anything, but what about a Park Ranger? There is some people work involved, but not a whole lot. There is work with animals. The pay probably isn’t great, but if I can pay the bills, save for retirement, and not have to scrounge for change when I want to eat out a few times a month, then who cares?

This is certainly something that I’m going to have to look into further. It might require more schooling (biology? animal behavior? environmental studies?) but that’s not a big deal.

A direction to look. (o:

I know, tests don’t tell you everything, but they can be pretty good at providing ideas. So this is from another test, and thankfully a free one, from The Princeton Review . It categorizes people into colors (Hey, whatever works) and I ended up being my favorite color, Blue.

I like blue. It’s restful and peaceful.

Reading through the characteristics of this color, the short, 24 question test seems to have figured me out fairly accurately unlike some of the other, pay-for tests that I’ve taken.

It says my interests are in creative, thoughtful, humanistic realms, with activity in abstracting, theorizing, designing, writing. Quite a few careers are listed, I’ll get to those in a moment.

The ‘style’ color is also blue, and it refers to how people like to work and relate to people. “supportive and helpful to others with a minimum of confrontation”, “selectively sociable”, “emotional”. Yup, all me.

There are a couple interesting ideas here:

• Career Counselor: This is, really, a bit ironic. But that’s okay. (o: I think this could be a great field for me if I enjoyed working with people.

• Clergy (Priest): This also is a person-oriented job and it requires a lot of self confidence. On the other paw, it can be very rewarding. I’ve thought about the priesthood before, and I’m not picky about what religion either. There is the opportunity to do a lot of good here.

• Photographer: I have a mild interest in this. Making a living would be tough, but I’m here to be happy, not necessarily wealthy. Being color blind might throw a wrench into the works here. Could mix this with my animal obsession. If nothing else, could be a fun hobby.

• Small Business Owner: I have an interest in this as well. I have some vague plans for a homebrewing chain. Just need the funding to get started… It’s a lot of work, but owning your own store is an awesome concept.

• Theologin: Mixing philosophy and religion. It would be interesting but I don’t think I would want to do it day in and day out. I like the entry on this career though. Here is a funny excerpt: “There are two main career paths for theologians. You can become a monk, hide yourself away in a monastery taking a vow of poverty, celibacy, and any other “eey” that denotes piousness, and spend your days reading and writing. Or, you can become a professor, hide yourself away in a university, taking a vow of poverty, and spend your days reading, writing, and teaching.” Heheh

I still don’t feel too strongly about any of the above, though. What to do, what to do?

I’ve taken (and paid for) several online career tests. So far, they’re not doing too well. They’re just not turning up jobs that interest me. They’re all jobs that I could do – if I wanted – but that’s the problem. If I wanted. And I don’t!

Here is, possibly, the root of the problem. From the ‘Career Interest Profiler’, which calculates the standard RIASEC scale:

So, yeah, one of the problems is that I have, at best, moderate interest in two areas. I often wonder if this is related, in some way, to depression. I have been treated for that in the past, and recently I really haven’t been feeling all that hot. Something to think about.

Anyways, this particular test does peg strengs fairly well based on the above scores. However, when reading through related occupational areas, I just don’t see much that I like.

Yup. And now for…

I just am not interested in doing anything! Well, there is one thing that I enjoy, and that is feeding baby animals. Can’t think of any jobs where I do that all day, though. Ah well.