In november, I was diagnosed with a neurinome, a tiny tumor that growth out of my nerve in my arm. So far, it seems it’s not a cancer so it should not impact too much on my future.

But since I was diagnosed with this, I got scared and what if this become and cancer ? Will they have to cut my arm ? What if I have the same tumors somewhere else, like in my head ?? So now I am scared of loosing control and dying.

The thing is I don’t mind dying since it’s the ultimate fate of life. But I am only 22 years old and that would suck to miss out on the future. I still have plenty of things I want to do down hear.

Besides, I don’t know why but for the past two months, my body especially my upper body has been shaking and so I thought I had Parkinson or something else. So far, the docs have not found anything wrong, but I think i realised that I would not be there for ever and that I could like anyone else die early from whatever crap.

I mean I am only 22 and it’s not normal that I am shaky and doctors say it’s all good and that I am scared of death. 14 months ago