Its very strange, I’ve noticed a change in my attitude toward the emptiness of my apartment. I did think it was depressing, living in a sea of unbroken neutral colour, sparse white walls, beige carpet, not even a chair on which to sit. Now I realise that the emptiness didn’t depress me, that the lack of distraction in my environment was simply clarifying what I already felt, which was a sense of melancholy, a perfectly natural reaction to many of the changes I have gone through lately.
Their are advantages to minimalist living. My melancholy may seem more acute, but so do other emotions. I’m far more in tune with what I am feeling and thinking. If I’m sad, I feel it strongly, but if I’m happy, I feel it just as strongly. When I laugh, it is a laugh so focussed that it almost seems to take on a new dimension. I concentrate better. I’ve written two (paying) articles and I intend to write three more tonight. My intentions don’t get waylaid. If I intend to wash dishes, I don’t put it off. If I intend to work out, I don’t get hindered by this or that distraction. There is nothing to distract me.
When I read, I become completely absorbed in the book. When I write, I write longer and better. I taste food more thoroughly and I eat less since I’m more acutely aware of feelings of fullness in my body. There is no background noise from a TV or stereo. (I do have music on my hard drive, but to listen to it there has to be an intent. Listening to music has become an action, not a passive absorption of sound). I have also become more aware of the natural rhythms of living that surround me, the sound of my cat’s feet on the carpet. The sound of wind in trees.
I’ve grown to like it. So much that I’ve decided to stay minimal. I’ve ordered a single low chair where I can work (sitting on the floor hurts my butt) and when I get my hotel reimbursement from fema I’m going to use it to buy a decent futon mattress. But thats it for furniture. Maybe something I can store in the close and bring out for guests, but being a bit of a recluse that can probably wait a while.
