finally fall out of love

i got tired of repeating the past.
so i stopped.

never felt more free.

trust me.
feels good to release.

I was in a relationship for close to 4 years, and it recently ended for good. I realize that it’s over and thats good. I also realize that my heart is broken and the feelings won’t go away anytime soon. He was my best friend since I was 12 so we shared everything over the years. He is a guy so I’m sure he will get over this easier than me if he hasn’t already. I am used to sharing my entire life, everything with him and now that is gone. I went to a party last week, had a great time with my friends..even got hit on quite a bit that night. The attention was nice cuz it made me feel good I guess…but even in a room full of people, I was completely alone. I was lonely like I had never been before. I am confused and completely lost without him and it doesn’t really matter how bad he treats me or what he tries to say to hurt me so I will hate him..I never can because of our history. But I am sure its possible to fall out of love with him. My only problem is..we separated in the past for over a year, and I was in a deep relationship with someone, but I never fell out of love with this guy. I would forgive everything he ever did to hurt me in less than a minute if he would just try “us” again. So..tell me..how pathetic is this? I need help with this, and I already went to see my psychologist so thats a step. He doesn’t know about that so I think its best if he thinks I am fine with our departure. If anyone knows a way to help this “falling out of love process” ...please tell me b/c I just cant do this all alone anymore.