live with intention

its been a whole year since i last posted on this goal, but yet i’m still no sure how much i’ve actually changed. I mean while am back at uni and joined some sports clubs and actually gone on a night out with them. those were all the things i really wanted to be doing, but i still don’t feel right. Like i don’t talk, i still have major reservations about opening up to people or just even making small talk. If i can just stop being nervous and let go then i think im gonna have the confidence to acheive more. 

For so long i didnt do anything and becasue i wasnt doing anything i didnt want to do anything and so on which got me caught in that downward spiral. But now things are beginning to change, i got a full time job while im waiting to resit that one assignment for uni, it gives me a reason to get up in the mornings and also gives a strucuture to my day which makes me feel better about myself and i think it also motivates me to do other things. Like today i just got back from my gym induction which was one of the things i wanted to get back into but i kept putting off because of this lack of motivation. But things are looking up now.

I’m now wanting to make the most of my time off and do things that i want to do but in the past just never really done, just simple things like going out more, going to new places and so on. Having things going on in my life just makes everything so much more worthwhile and i really enjoy everythign i do now. I think a break from the old routine was definatly the key to this. I just hope that next year when i hopefully go back to uni i can contiune this knew thirst for life.

frustration to depress me. Utilize the frustration to inspire and empower myself. I do not have to succumb to negative energy. I hereby grant myself the ability to manifest positive energy whenever I need it.

because waiting for life to happen has just wasted time.

I am not inspired – so far – in life. I have found that I take a liking to many things – I am curious by nature. But so far, there has been no passion (with the exception of bikes and yerba maté). And my whole life, I have held off on doing anything because I don’t want to be pre-occupied when my true passion comes along.

However, I have come to realize that waiting for my life’s passion(s) is going to take forever (if at all). It is time to just start doing.
Doing everything I have an inclination to do – and find the passion in that.

And perhaps my true passion will only come about when I have explored these minute interests.

It is comming, but it’s not going to find me, I have to find it.