"At some point you've just got to choose peace for yourself in everything you do, and this just saves your sanity and improves your confidence so much. Maybe it has to come with age and being burned out enough to realize the need, though."
How I did it: Practice, and being in different situations--in one place I lived, lateness was so common and unavoidable because of transportation lousiness that I just became less concerned about it, after my initial few weeks of beating myself up over it. Then later, I was in a situation where I actually didn't need to be anywhere on time (working from home)--meaning I lost the maelstrom of bad feelings associated with knowing I was probably going to be late for something important.
The older you get, the more stress there is, the more burned-out you become, the more likely you are to just say "it doesn't matter" and somehow things begin to fall into place--because leaving on time is actually the easier thing to do for your mental health (counter-intuitive as it may seem if you're in this situation). The key is to rid your life of the "junk" items (emotional and physical junk) that take up so much mental energy.
Lessons & tips: You are worth not being stressed all day, every day, because of something looming up later in the evening. Being late is your mind telling you one of two things: either that you're not good enough somehow or that you are forcing yourself to do things (maybe because of social pressures) that you really should say no to. In the first case, you don't feel at peace with yourself unless you get a list of things as long as your arm done before you leave home--therefore you're running around and you leave too late, annoyed, and get there late, which only reinforces feelings of stress and inadequacy. In the second case, practice saying "no" to those things that you really can't afford to agree to for your peace of mind. Like a good doctor, stop taking new patients!
Resources: Set an alarm to go off one hour before you have to leave. You can do this on your computer, for example, at sites like http://www.kukuklok.com/ , or I also like the "motiwake" site (inspirational alarm). Yes, a whole one hour ahead is the time to start getting everything ready and by the door. Maybe it takes 2 mins but with an alarm like that going, then you can sit down and know you won't be late out of absent-mindedness or last minute loss of your keys. Remember it's all about reducing stress.
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Nov 25, 2008, 06:21PM PST
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