I wrote a letter to my future self over the past two days. Initially I just wanted to give him an idea of where I was at, what I’d overcome, and what I’ve been feeling and trying to do the past couple of days. I told him I was trying to make things better for him. And at first, I tried not to tell him all my hopes I had for him. I didn’t want to make him upset or disappointed if he hadn’t achieved those hopes. But then I realized that I was scared to put them down, as if putting them out there and sending them to the future meant that I was daring the universe to make me fail. And that’s a stupid fear. So I guess revealing my hopes was kind of the point of writing the letter in the first place.

I’ve re-read it once to see if I needed to add anything, and I think it’s good. I may show it to my therapist tomorrow, but then that’s it. I’m sealing it in an envelope, and storing it in a safe place until March 2022. And we’ll see how I do with it then. 14 months ago

I opened my notebook and wrote a few words. I’m not sure what my mental state was like at the time, but hopefully I managed to encompass that in my writing; all the things I was unhappy about, the ones I was ok about, and the ones I’m working on. 15 months ago

wow! 18 months ago