be single for a while

this is the only goal that isnt causing me stress!

In fact, i feel this goal is the best goal i have!

i’ve came to realise a lot of things this week…. i have stuff to do, things to straighten out, and in all honesty, i dont want the stress of a relationship making it more difficult for myself!

Once my life is sorted and i have a better idea of what I want, then i can fit a boyfriend into my life!

i nearly made this goal on monday

and then remembered i had a boyfriend lol! but now, i can focus on myself :)

I want to stay single for at least 7 months. Then I will try to find somebody.

i had been looking for a girlfriend for a long time around 2 years or something like that an i eventually got one, its was all right at the start couple of weeks in a started to want to be single, i think i have got so used to single life that i just find it hard to get it into my head that i was in a relationship, didnt help that we had started going out after like a week or so but :/

anyway im single again, and i feel comfortable again i know im not hurting any1 when im flirting with girls an im free again.

i do sometimes miss the feelings and all the other benifits you get from being in a relationship but i think i would miss the benifits of single life more.

I’m so scared of being alone that I stay in relationships that I’m not actually happy in… then there was my most recent relationship… he was perfect..it was perfect, only i was so scared of ever losing him that while… i pushed him away!!!

so yeah i realised i cant b single till i am secure in myself!

and if someone as amazing as my ex could love me so much…there’s gotta b something worth loving!!

so here’s to stayin single for da 1st time since i started dating at 17!!!

and here’s tofalling in love… with myself!

I enjoy being single. It’s not like this goal will be hard to fill anyways. haha!

although…

i went on a date two days ago.
my 2nd date in my entire life.
my 1st date was when i was a freshman in college and WHAT a disaster

so i was nervous.
ridiculously, obnoxiously nervous
but i looked cute and i gave it to the universe after a conversation with my parents

“okay universe, here we go. not that you care too much about a silly date when you have all these huge fucking global issues to attend to, but stay with me, alright? i’m giving him an hour…just an hour. that’s polite right? stay with me.”

i gave him 4 hours. all of it conversation about travelling, ambitions, music (lots and lots of music, oh my god), mayan prophecy (that was me) and future plans

AND he’s cute
AND he’s a musician
AND he has a love affair with london which i see as strangely edgy and sexy

and he kissed me :)
lightly, with promise of patience and more to come should things go well

6 months was a good break, a nice vacation
i think i’m ready to jump into the dating pool and go for a nice, long swing

I want to stay away from relationships that suck your energy, and would rather be single, happy and content.

missed him today

shouldn’t have

meh.