I need to work money! 5 days ago

Call about a refinance. I’m not at all sure I want to do this but I do want to at least know what my options are. 1 week ago

The other night my SO and I were sharing a pizza and I wound up telling him how hurt I felt by my brother’s recent comments which accompanied his check for my car repairs. My SO immediately wrote me a check so I could send the money back to my brother. My SO is not a rich man and has some overwhelming expenses himself right now because he has taken on a piece of property he is improving himself for his work. He is such a good guy. He’d like me to tell my brother off but understands that I simply want to take the high road and extricate myself from his reluctant charity. I hasten to add that I was given no choice by my brother; I didn’t ask. He simply went over my head, paid for the expenses and then basically used that against me. Sigh. Why can’t everyone just be nice? 3 weeks ago

In order for me to start receiving my SS checks I have to get by in May on exactly half my usual pay. This is hitting me at a bad time as I’ve recently struggled with car problems and just had to buy two new tires. But I am convinced I can do this. I filled up my car with gas yesterday and I only intend to do this once more this month. There’s a bunch of stuff I want to get for the arts room for the granbeanie but we’ll use the stuff we have for this first month and then in June we can do more.

I have plenty of food so will buy only those fresh items I require. It’s the bills that can’t be trimmed. I just keep telling myself, it’s just one month! I can do this. Of course, I do keep remembering all the money I had saved that went poof in the recession. Sigh. Eyes ahead. 3 weeks ago

So my brother thinks me a failure because of my lack of money. It’s all in the choices we’ve made he said. And I agree. Let’s examine some of my choices:

•I went to a crappy college – my bad but later I went back to school to set it right until my husband insisted we buy a house that would require my dropping out of school and going back to work. I did so. OK, I’m cop to that.

•When I had my career well in hand, despite my poor educational creds, I saved like crazy yet I did give both my daughters help through college and grad school. I did give both down payments for their first homes. I did pay off a car for one of them. I welcomed each of them back into my home so they could complete additional degrees. I paid for part of each of their weddings (their father was a no-show financially). I cop to all that.

•When I was laid off I got a job immediately, at a good pay boost, even, but I let it go after just a few months when I took our mother in. The job required me to be out of state for weeks and months on end and she was in her 90s. Again my decision.

•When I had no success finding local work (the economy was beginning to fail) I opened my own business. The very month I opened was when the stock market crashed and the whole country was in an economic tailspin. Also, at the same time my health problems required that I stop production. I admit I had no crystal ball.

•I lived off my substantial savings for years, completely extinguishing them and paying taxes and penalties for doing so.

•When they were gone I lived on my good credit charging medical expenses (of course I had no insurance), vet charges for my pets, insurance, car repairs/maintenance, even food and utilities at times. This, too was my choice, but then my choices were somewhat limited.

Fast forward to today: I’m still working, years after I had planned to retire. Also my choice.

I’ve not gone bankrupt, asked anyone for anything, applied for any kind of government assistance. Call me proud; call me stubborn; call me anything but dependent or incompetent. So no one, not even my well-loved brother gets to call me a failure.

What are my successes? Two fully independent, well educated, kind daughters who love me and care enough to visit me. Two beanies who think I hung the moon. A professional reputation that I’m proud of: those for whom I have worked and with whom I have worked know me to be very good at what I do, a hard worker and ethical. A long list of people who are better for having known me. Articles I have published all over the world. A nonprofit I helped start that has had global impact. A teenager who is a success in school today because I taught him to read and how to learn while in grade school.

No, I don’t have a fat bank account and a major car repair has sent me reeling financially, but I have become the kind of person I wanted to be: I do important stuff; I create beautiful things; I give a damn. I would not trade my successes for my brother’s money and I think he knows it. I will chalk his unkind remarks and attempt to buy my independence up to his drinking too much (not a problem I have), and up to his ill health.

OK, now I feel better. It helps that in the middle of writing this, my daughter dropped by with the beanies to deliver some CSA stuff I ordered. The beanies were so excited to be at “Bean-Bean’s house.” After they left I planted some herbs and lettuce in the little garden my SO carved out for me. I am content. You can’t buy THAT! 1 month ago

This week’s stresses have clarified a few things for me. I need more resources. I need to be even more frugal. I need to understand that my value system differs from that of many others so I don’t need to take it personally when it’s attacked. 1 month ago

1000+ a week? Join the MCA! Contact me on tygernaub@gmail.com. NO experience needed. 1 month ago

Alyth: £12×25 =£300 (£200)
-£80 (travel) 4 months ago