lose 13 lbs

i weighed in today at 118 lbs on my old, analog scale. based on my height and age, my ideal weight is 105 lbs. that means i need to lose 13 lbs.

my readings indicate healthy weight loss rate of only 2 lbs/week – via a rigorous regimen of diet and exercise. but we all know i’m not going to do that: i’m only going to eat healthier and exercise regularly, which i believe is a more sustainable approach.

i intend to lose the additional pounds forever. uh-huh!

i want this so bad
and by the end of the school year i want to have lost 10 pounds
because im having a beach party for my birthday
so ill be walking around in a bikini infront of all of my grade
and i want to look hot
i need to look hot
but im scared to go back to anorexia
i want to, but i dont want to

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

means i will be 107.