Call Omi (that's Grandma in German) more often

Omi is no more.

Yesterday, after lunch, I received an sms from my mom that Omi has passed away. She died after being sickly for the last couple of weeks, with digestive and heart rhythm problems, we think of multiple heart attacks. Sunday evening, there was already a moment when her heart had stopped, she came back once more to stay another night, but yesterday morning, after getting a shot against the chest pain, her heart finally stopped beating around 11 o’clock.
I don’t know many details, only that my cousin was present and that my mom missed being there only by ten minutes.

Omi had had enough of life. She didn’t want to be around anymore, during the last couple of weeks she said so many times over. We hoped that she would, as always, get over her winter-low and make it to spring time.
She asked us not to be “angry” if she says that death was welcome, and we assured her that if she wanted to go, it was OK and that she should “ask her husband and daughter to come and pick her up”.

It is hard to explain how amazing my grandmother was. Her personality was positive, through and through. She had a great sense of humour and was incredibly patient with everybody, especially with my grandfather who wasn’t the easiest character to live with. She could laugh heartily (see the top right of the picture) and was warm and soft (apart from her facial hair, which tickled in a nice way). My sister said it best when she called Omi a “true lady”, as she had great composure and self-respect, manners and assertiveness which was never pushy.
My grandparent’s marriage is what I strive for with my partner, a blind mutual trust and openly visible profound love which the two shared until my grandfather passed away.
Although Omi was technically the matriarch on my mother’s side of the family, I never witnessed her using her position in any way. She was the emotional centre of my mother’s small family, as she was loved so dearly by everyone that we would have done anything to see her happy and not hurt her.
She was playful and funny. She smelled nice. I can remember her voice, the gentle tone when she called me her “Muckele”.
She radiated grandmotherness. She was made of pure, destilled (top shelf) awesome.

I cry not for her, but for me. She was my last grandparent. It’s selfish, but I wanted her to meet my son. I am very glad I still got to see her at christmas and that the baby kicked for her to feel. She got to see everybody (except her sister and brother-in-law), and I am sure that she secretly said good-bye to her family, then.

I don’t believe that she is “in a better place”, now. I believe she is gone. The world doesn’t realise it, but it has lost a remarkable woman.

... to go to see her at christmas, she faints in her bathroom. My mother travelled home yesterday, and straight back to Omi’s house today. Omi fall on her side and said that she sat down herself, after feeling a bit sickly, but the “horn” on her head proves differently.
So the christmas trip will be decided on later, when she is feeling better.
She lives in such a small place, the odds of the hotels being booked out are very low. I don’t want to excite her too much, but I so want to see her…

I rang her from my bike, cycling home after the gym last night.
She told me about her gaining weight again (which is good!) and I told her about my gaining weight (which is not so good).
We had a couple of laughs together and she sounded quite chirpy.

...and Omi was there, too. It turns out that they decided to write her in in a home for the elderly, just in case Omi doesn’t feel safe alone in her house anymore, which would be a shame.
I understand she is all alone (but not lonely, she says). But I hope she gets to live in her house till the day she dies. She is already saying this now, but I told her I think she is tough as old boots and that of course she will be a great-grandmother next April, when my sister’s first child is due to be born.
Apart from her heart, I am not aware of any bigger health complaints, and a heart can always give an older person trouble. Or not. There is no way planning for heart failure…
So she will have a place to move to should the need arise. I hope she will feel OK in her own four walls for a while, still.

This weekend. It was a good chat. She is so far away. I wish she would visit us. Perhaps I can convince her next year.

Called her last night. She is always such a sweetie! We discussed her trip to the Baltic Sea with my mom and cousin. It must have been alright for the most part, but it was exactly a year since my aunt passed away, so that particular day must have been difficult.
We also talked about other, fun things, including our gardens (we always exchange details about that!). But it’s simply too hot for Omi. The only place in her house that has a bearable temperature is the basement. Her neighbours have a wasps nest outside, so she can’t open her bedroom window, or she’s got an army of wasps in her room.
It all seems trivial, but my Omi is so adorable. And she always has something positive to say. I just want to hug her. Damn, I need to go to Germany.

I gave her a ring on Friday, and we chatted for 15 minutes or so, which was great!
She was bowling (the German version of bowling uses a ball even an 80+er can lift) and went for a walk with her bowling friends.
What seems quite sad is the fact that the people around her are also not getting younger and therefore, Omi’s social circle is getting smaller all the time.
I also didn’t like to hear that the house next to hers is empty, that would spook me out after a couple of weeks, and she said it’s been a few months already.
But again, I am glad the old lady is keeping fit and busy.
I wish I could have given her a big hug through the phone…

I called Omi today and dispite the fact that she constantly tried to politely hang up because she considers a call from the Netherlands to Germany would render me broke, we had a nice but short conversation.
She is such a sweet lady!

How cool is my Omi? This coming Sunday is my birthday, so, naturally, I got a birthday card from my grandmother. But in my last posts I said that I’d love to have a photograph of her, and voila, she’s sent me one as well. It also shows my mother and cousin Martina. She wrote that my calling her did her a world of good, sensing that I am content, and now she read my mind and sent me a photograph.
I am so glad to have the three ladies on one pic. The only (remaining) female on this side of the family missing is my sister, but I’ve got lots of shots of her and me.
I will make sure to ring my grandmother next week again.

I don’t have a picture of her. I have a photograph of my grandfather which she sent me when he passed away, and a photograph of my grandfather’s and aunt’s graves next to each other, but not of Omi, and she’s alive!
Note to self: tell mom to send me a nice pic of her mother.

Hey! just found this:

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson