have more fun

since i’m staying with my parents now (almost four months) it’s nice to have some more harmony.
In general, I have low stress these days. Sometimes something crazy happens, say boy-issues, but I try to take a chill pill.

Last week I ventured off campus with a friend, which I rarely do. A new phone charger necessitated the adventure, but we ate at Chilli’s, missed the bus, and roamed the bookstore in the mall along the way. The whole time I kept telling myself how much fun this should be… but it wasn’t. I just spent too much money, stood out in the cold, made idle conversation.

Then last night I took a break from homework around 10 to see what was happening in the common room. Had an exaggerated play flight with my friend. Really immature shit, but surprisingly, I went back to my room with a light heart.

What is fun? Where is it hiding? What does it look like? I need to start answering these questions in new ways if I want to fully incorporate fun into my life again.

We’re going to France for the day. We live so close to the coast, we can drive down and get a day ferry to France.

I can almost smell the garlic.

Hope we have a good time, my daughter is already excited about having breakfast on the boat.

i went out and partied for the first time in a long while this past weekend… oh deary me.

i dont party a lot, mind you, or even feel compelled to that often… but when i do, i have to get shitfaced. its not a subconscious thing; i’m quick to tell people that i just don’t see the point of just having a drink or two. my motto is: if you’re going to drink, you might as well get drunk… a motto that never ceases to get me in trouble.

it wouldn’t be such an issue if i just got drunk, but oh no, i have to run around campus hitting every stoop gathering that sounds like a dance party, losing my student id, cell phone, even high heels in the process. and this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. only this time i feel like i’m really paying for it. turns out galavanting about barefoot in a flimsy second hand dress while its raining makes you a perfect candidate for the flu. in addition to having lost my id, phone, and favorite pair of shoes, i’ve lost three days of class from being sick as a dog.

i love weekends like this. they really are fun. and i stand by what i say about partying… but i really lack the responsibility to behave this way, and until i get my shit together (both figuratively and literally), i should probably shake off stress in some other ways.

What a lovely evening, a party that started at 5pm for the kids and then early dinner for them. Then dinner later for the grownups. We left just after 10pm, my latest night out all year. Had a great time.

I was surfing the internet wondering how my life had become so dull then the phone rang. It was Fox he said “Beer Pong?” I said, “absolutely” so Friday night wasn’t as sad as I thought it was going to be I met some new people (which is rare in a small town) and won a few rounds. I think it’s been about a year since I’d played. There’s just something really fun about hanging out with the guys, listing to music, drinking some beer and talking trash.

The gorillas were amazing

win tonight, oh ya, Brett Favre, that was fun!

I am 33 and just realizing now that I am too tighltly wound.

I have had fun in my life, but I think I have a shell to come out of a little more.

Baby steps, right?

918 cheers given
but 1068, received, wow! Fun, yes, this site..humbling, eye opening, appreciative for all the support and the 1068 faces, I may never see, behind those smiley faces! Each one of those cheers, helped me make through another day, helped me realize I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was..made me realize that most people, try and fail, but keep trying..that we all have goals, that we all at times fall short of meeting them, or sometimes, there are those that exceed them..