Release my Rage

but I really haven’t had any real ‘seether’ moments of late. I’ve been doing a lot of ‘self-work’ so maybe I’ve worked through some things. Plus, adding drumming to my life has given me an outlet for physically releasing a lot of pent up gunk. All in all, I’ve been pretty peaceful. It feels nice;)

So, I’m going to mark this complete but that I want to do it again…as this is for the long term.

There is a part of me that is very angry. Actually, that’s putting it mildly. It’s more like RAGE or LIVIDITY. And when it comes on, it feels like someone has flipped a switch. I can feel the difference, hear the edge in my voice and overall, feel like I’m no longer really in control. My husband has faced the brunt of this energy we’ve named my Seether. He asked me once, ‘Why are you so angry?” I don’t think that I actually know the answer to that…as it’s probably not one specific thing. I think it may stem from not knowing how to let go and therefore, holding on, tenaciously, to every slight or betrayal, real or imagined, that I’ve ever experienced.

I think finding a way to release my RAGE could be a transforming experience. I know I need to ‘LET GO’ but I truly thought I had in the past…only to have the situation rear it’s ugly head again. I know that this is part of my path. This lesson will be hard won, but the splendor will be worth more than gold. From where I stand at this point, I can only keep moving toward forgiveness and acceptance. The rest will have to work itself out along the way.