build confidence

I am very interested in taking pole dancing classes at the local fitness studio. I hear it’s a great workout and that it builds confidence. I underwent bypass surgery 2 years ago and need to tighten my new, slimmer body. Perhaps dancing like a goddess will make me feel beautiful and empower me with the confidence I so desperately need.

At the spaghetti dinner, I think I did a decent job of not acting to awkward and uncomfortable. Still a ways away from “confidence”, but a start when it comes to me. No stuttering, not standing around feeling out of place. There was one time I got in an awkward situation in which I tried to talk to a woman who was busy, and who ignored me and kept doing what she was doing which was counting out some raffle tickets for another woman…I didn’t notice when I approached her. But I moved right on, no awkwardness in trying to regain myself. Infact, I acknowledged to myself that she is a bit abrasive anyway, always seeming irritated. I’m more aloof and airheaded. It’s not bad, many people have probably been in that situation with her. I simply found another person to ask the question to, and I got my daughter her winnings which was the whole goal anyway…......I don’t feel uncomfortable about that situation at all, which would be a form of higher confidence in my case.

i just always doubt myself…be it looks, intelligence, ability, etc. i realize that i need to have faith in myself, and if i don’t believe in myself, then no one else will.

I guess sometimes I underestimate myself. I want to have the confidence I need to never second guess myself.