Be happy alone. Then find someone else to be happy with.

I lock myself inside my room
I wanna be alone
Just be alone with my thoughts
Please don’t think I’m crazy
I don’t want you to understand
My mind is growing hazy
To hell with your helping hand
This conflict is my own

I need to do this or else, i’ll be insane

I found the person. It happened accidentally, we knew each other before. It is kind of a wonderful relationship. Other than anything before, more open and always facing the future. She is right now in South America. I am here and have to study. I won’t loose my confidence as I still have my own life. I am looking for the days when we will start sharing our stories and the time again, when her skin shines golden in the sun. Oh yeah, I am waiting.

I was married yet alone for many years. Coming out of the marraige, I have had several relationships. I still has people around me, but I’m struggling with the disconnect of the euphoria of the last year.

Mystified by the journey ahead.

I am happy alone.I love my life, the way it is now.Sometimes I think maybe there is a reason I am not married or even in a relationship.(wont say I dont have ‘anyone’ in my life-tht would be incorrect as my life is rich with family and friends).
Maybe i am destined to reach realisation of something that is easie if alone.Being single gives me the freedom to get up and go- wherever my fancy takes me
No one has it perfect- singletons or attached, mais c’est la vie…
So while I haev achieved the forst part of teh goal, i am abandoning the quest, for now, not in despair, but in curioisty- to see where life leads me now once I quit whining about this.

I found myself talking to people just to hear my own voice . I joined mom groups and pretended to be interested in things i wasn’t just to not be alone . I become friends with people who mistreated me . I had a lightbulb moment when i watching my best friend at the time flirt( and when i say flirt i mean being a slut)with my husband and i told them both i was fine with it all . What was i saying, why did i say it. I sent her packing, i almost sent my husband packing . I cleaned house . I really had to some self exploring . I read ” Eat, Pray , Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert and it change my life . I have let go of my neediness, i have put up standards and i have learned to enjoy myself .
“never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend .”

best wished

For the past 4 years I have been in 2/2 yr relationships with a 3 month gap in between the two. I have had some very bad things happen before these relationships. I think I got into both of them, because I was trying to fill a void from the past. I know what I have to do and the hardest part is just doing it. I will never be truly happy if I can’t be by myself. I will never find somebody who I can really be happy with if I don’t. If anybody has any tips let me now.

i think this may be the hardest thing for me to do

i must find happiness..

Two of my things i wanted to do was to be happy without being in love and to find my soulmate.

I think this one pretty much sums that up. [: