enjoy the process of earning my degree

Finally bit the bullet and got in touch with the university – and an amazingly quick response!

Excellent news: I passed my exams! The results apparently got lost in the post, but I did well :)

Relieving news: I have options for an extension, so now have to decide if I want to try sitting one of my two remaining exams in April, and get a medical extension to add another year rather than rushing the dissertation; or take a full year as suspended study, and pick up the work the following April.

So much pressure off now, phew phew phew!! :)

Got my final module material today – and I like how that sounds! Final module :) Okay, still have two exams and a dissertation to sit, but this is a moment to pause: I now have the full course, and an end in sight!

Of course, I have marvellous plans of utterly rocking the remaining work – network applications, which I started last year, and the new multimedia design – whooo!

I like music while I study – something that isn’t silence! I go with classic or film scores, so it’s not too distracting.

Yesterday, however, my motivation was mush. I was tired, had no wiggle room, and just – meh. So I shoved on a bit of really lively music and had a dance about – perfect! Felt much more energised. And discovered that instead of the more sedate classic stuff going back on what I really needed at that point was something lively – heck, I needed a little bit of distraction so I could churn out some nonsense without my brain rebelling every nanosecond!

So, point to remember: just ‘cos soundtracks usually work, doesn’t mean they always will. And just ‘cos I avoid things I could sing along to, doesn’t mean they don’t have their place even when studying needs done!

Getting pretty stressed about it all, finally, at the last gasp. About half the e-Comm coursework to go (and I’m just assuming the Db stuff is as easy as it looks!) and I’m struggling. Get home from work too tired to do much, get to weekends – ah, too tired to do much. Oops!

However, I’ll keep plugging away – for another week and a half?! I have most of that off work, thankfully! I’ll get there.

And whether I do or not, the thing to remember is this: this is an optional thing in my life. I don’t have to do it at all, and I certainly don’t have to be perfect. Passing will be nice – my life won’t change if I don’t. So chill. Learn, enjoy what I can, and thank crunchie that I’ve only got one more year of coursework/exams left!!

First Tuesday/Wednesday of the exam period. At least it gets them over with – and at least I know what I’m working towards!!

• hashing
• relational algebra
• data warehousing/mining
• deductive db
• object-relational db
• distributed/parallel db
• internet and multimedia db

• figure out how much javascript I need to know
• figure out what the heck a ‘community hosting facility’ really is!

I really, REALLY need to get back into the studying. Sometimes, I start wondering about my attitude towards it all – surely, if this was something I REALLY wanted, it’d wouldn’t be such a string of struggles? I thought – feared – that my current reading (FYONS) would play this out: and what then? I’m too far through to want not to finish, even if some book tells me to follow my heart rather than head.

However, somewhere between the reading and my someday goals, I remembered why I’m doing this degree, remembered to look past the exams and hard work studying instead of watching telly. Things I keep forgetting!

I want to build websites. Just, ‘cos, really. It makes my compass quiver (so to speak)! And if I need a more solid reason, ever, I just have to remember how much of a buzz I get offering to build a site for a friend – how much I can help people I care about, doing something I enjoy and they find impenetrable. And – just ‘cos :)

So tomorrow I’ll do something. Maybe not much, but as Martha Beck says, even moving incredibly slowly – doing the two minutes you can face without breaking into horrible panic – will get you further than being so petrified of the eight-hour, all-out session you think/know you should be doing that you do nothing at all. I don’t care, then, if all I do is open a book and read a page – it’s a start!

... about postponing another module. Right now, I can think of few benefits to stressing myself out for the next 2½ months, cramming in info that might otherwise actually be interesting. Really, is doing it next year so bad? So I miss my ‘only one module, won’t know what to DO with my time’ picture, but really… Perhaps it’s more sensible to focus on just 2 modules, making sure I do pass them – better to intentially postpone 1, than risk retaking 3?

Hmm.

Sensible, or lazy?

edit
Talked to my dad, and he sounded major relieved that I want to push one back – “You’ve been under too much stress lately anyway”. Bless! So, idea has merit AND parental approval.

Additionally, having thought the thought this morning, today I decided to look at the other two, see how far through them I actually am (as in, maybe I’ve been a bit too focused on the third difficult one too much already?) – and found myself far more keen to go look at Network stuff – argh! LOL! But that’s actually reassuring: I do want to do the module (so I’m not just avoiding an ick); I’d just like more time to enjoy it. And I do think I could still have some ‘me project’ time next term, anyway, as I could veer off into web design proper and still be covering off a couple of chapters of this… :)

So, 97% there with the decision. I’ll see how much of db and e-c I get through in the next few weeks: if it’s ‘hunnurns’ I might reconsider; more likely, I’ll find it’s plenty anyway.

edit 2
I feel like I’ve just given myself space for a huge breather – hurrah! Let’s hope I still feel this way through the remaining 2 modules still there, right?! ;)

Right at the most bizarre moment – just before surgery! – I’m heading full steam back into this. Classes started back up this week for the full time students; today I went in for the first computer lab. And I’m glad I did – I’m still clueless, but at least now I know I’m not missing anything (apart from any kind of grasp of Linux, but there ya go!).

I do have a LOT of work to do, and basically Feb/March to do it. There is the tempatation to put a module off ‘til next year – one last chance to do so – but I’d much rather make the effort and try to stick to the plan: if nothing else, it’d be fab to have an easier year of it next year! ;)

So… I’m back on a time-span with the ft students, which means a very set course for getting through the material: 3x lectures (notes, exercises, additional reading) for the next 8 weeks; 3 weeks (?) to do the coursework, and the other two modules alongside! Eeep! And yet… I feel I can do it. Or at least I can bloddy well try!!

I’ve been on a go-slow with this, even after recovering from the brain-dead-ness that stopped me for a little while. And it’s time to get moving again!

Databases – I love this topic! It’s so logical, such a necessity to modern life. Heck, this is my job and learning the background is fab! Truly, I must be a complete geek that the words ‘relational algebra’ actually sound quite cool ;) Plus, having some experience, this isn’t that difficult a course for me, so far.

e-Commerce – this does not feel like work; it feels like directed web browsing :)

NetApps – okay, I’ve had issues with this one, and I’m still not (a) completely set up (MUST try that department logon!), (b) entirely sure what I’m supposed to be studying! On the other hand, I’ve done a LOT of background reading, and I’m liking all of this learning how the internet actually works.

So, all good – just… get on with it! (I need that tattooed somewhere, really!). More, if/when I get through the exams for these three, I have but one modules left. I am so looking forward to next year! Partly I think I won’t know what to do with myself, with just one thing to study and 10 months to do it! Also there’s the fact that that one module is Multimedia Design – cool! I know I need to learn how to use Photoshop; that and a bit of extra time have just conjured up images of getting all my creativity mojo working again – the module and photoshop, calligraphy, drawing again…?

But first, the geekiness. Go forth, my girl, and be-geek yourself fully! :)