live my life on my own terms, not trying to live up to the expectations of others

What happens when I have way too many expectations of myself?

I sometimes feel like I overwhelm myself! That’s extremely self-destructive. A little scary.

bon jovi says it best:

“it’s my liiiiiiife!”

on finding by own terms, but I bet they involve doing something that

- I care about
- I’m good at
- I enjoy

At least, I think that’s the secret to making a difference in the world. We’ll see how it turns out.

nice litte snippet I found on the interwebs:

The probability of achieving a goal

if You hear an idea, is 10%

if You decide when you will do it, is 40%

if You plan how you will do it, is 50%

if You commit to someone else you will do it, is 65%

if You have a specific accountability appointment with
the person you’ve committed to, is 95%

So I have got my mum’s approval to stay out on Sat night but it’s contingent on my uncle agreeing to it too. Ahhh, I can’t wait to be living on my own again!!!

EDIT: Mum revoked her approval because it would be “too late and too much of a hassle to be staying over at a friend’s place, and your uncle might not like it anyways” etc etc etc.
Hopefully I’ll get to see it on TV. I even gave my tickets away coz I just didn’t even want to be bitter about having the whole thing pulled out from under me. But I’m bitter, so yeah.

Even though I’m only 18 I’ve already started doing this. Its absolutely amazing what life will give you when you follow your heart, and live with what is right to you and not others. Don’t let expectations others have for you change how you think!

is I’m still not sure what my own terms are.

I have a pretty good idea, but…

not 100% sure.

Am working on figuring this out.

..living with family was a bad idea. Especially if they won’t say what they want to say to you, instead choosing to tell other family members and make assumptions.

I wish I could just up and leave it all behind. But that’s too easy. So, for now – the first goal is getting a raise or a new job. Second goal: move out to my own place.

On a positive note

my being vegan often causes me to be more on the outside of things- causing troubles with family meals and such that used to be fine, when I wasn’tvegan.

But I’ve been working on a poster for a presentation on veganism (for tomorrow) and my mom was watching me put together the poster and type out the quotes and analysis and such. She started asking questions- she was genuinely interested, and it opened up a discussion on veganism and what it means to vegans and how it affects the daily life and that it often is a political statement. It was quite nice to be able to talk about veganism without being attacked or feeling like I was being threatening towards the other person. Phew. I’d like those to happen more often.

“You know, when you graduate from college, you’re supposed to find a paying job.”

Now, I’m not quite sure how you meant for this to come across, but hearing it, I felt quite…inferior.

I’ll be volunteering for ten months in New Hampshire following graduation and I’m quite at peace and content with it.

I don’t need a job right now. GAHHHHH. There will be decades for that later. I’ll be working full-time- it’s not like I’ll even be slacking. Gah.

Whatever.