i want to get married

Hi!Iam AAMER,I am 18years old,my Email Is aamer.ops@hotmail,I am Real Man,And I Want A REAL GIRL.
And I Hope To Find This GIRL.

i want 2get married before i get barried

I have avoided this forever because I don’t ever want to be divorced
So far I’ve never been divorced
So, I’ve accomplished that part

I want to get married

First, I want to find someone who is as ‘wonderful’ in real life as I have made them to be in my own opinion…

Working on that last part…..

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I’m anExtroverted Creative Reinventer

Okay so really… my parents have screwed me up to no end. The second I get to the point in a relationship where they are trying to break down some of those walls or I think it is probably worth taking them down… Da da da da PHYSCO GIRLFRIEND! No I dont care if they have guys night… works for me I can do what I want (Other than Mommy Duties) hanging with other girls? Can I hang with my dude friends from high school? I am big on the phrase, “whats good for the goose is good for the gander.” No, on normal physco girlfriend issues I usually get thumbs up across the board. I like sex and go out of my way to have fun with it. So that is not a issue. Nope nothing like that. I become MEAN! I am just so mean sometimes I make myself go …WHAT? Where did that come from. Yup i pick fights to pick fights. Games. Okay so maybe that is a normal Physco Girlfriend thing. Something inside me and I am being seriouse goes… “wow! we have not fought in a while… hmmm?” Usually a hour later… Fight. To the point I have him storming out the door hanging up on me or in tears begging me to stop what I am doing. I grow cold agianst any kind of emotion and say shit like, Oh you think we are soulmates? No such thing. Of course I am not a complete bitch… no i blame it on me and the funny part is IT REALLY IS ME! So no matter how much my girlfriends think i have hit the jack pot. I still fight. That comes from constant fighting between my parents or my parents and nieghbors seeing bar fights all my life… Yup they fucked me up!

Okay so the latest on my “relationship”. I give life a honest go, I look at every day with my loved ones as a blessing whether I am physically with them or not. The knowledge that a person is just a phone call or text away is inviting. I try to find simple happiness like dessert with lunch, sneaking up on my daughter at school and even just having the ability to see, speak and hear. However, my beloved sees life through another piece of glass. To him if life is not exactly the way he wants it at that particular point in time he gets grouchy, depressed and quit frankly ruins my day with his poison toad attitude about the world and life in general. I have talked to him, I have begged him and I have pleaded my case time and time again. I have even offered up alternative ways to cope with his “issues” each time he promises to change and any alternative idea I present is automatically thrown out of the window with out a chance or even a second thought. I HAVE HAD IT UP TO MY EYE BALLS! I lived a childhood in a negative environment that constantly had me down and took a large chunk of my childhood away from me. Years, counseling, people watching, countless self help books and relationship with God later I am finally standing up and saying “NO!” to negative energy of any kind. Even if it means leaving the man I love and the only father my child has ever known. Think that sounds selfish. I do not think so, in fact I think that not enough people stand up for themselves and their children when it comes to living happy, healthy life styles. I want to add that extra 8 years worth of life through laughter and smiles every single day of the year… which equals 2484 years… hahahaha! The point is that laughter, happy thoughts and a generally happy healthy life style doesn’t just add years to your physical life but to your life in the memory of others after you have made your move to the Lords house. It creates families that love to be with each other. I finally told him today, I am on the fence. I can not tell you I love and I am not going to commit to marriage until I see some things change. I have to protect myself and my daughter and our little legacy. I say legacy because I plan on ending the negative cycle of parental relationships gone bad with my daughter. Together she and I can take end the cycle. If my beloved does not think he can participate in this quest for happiness in a positive attitude then I do not need him. I am not going to try to fix him. That is his duty to himself. I have enough on my plate.

So after standing strong for alost 48 hours we are back together. However, i would like to throw into the ring (not wedding ring or engagment ring) that his mother called me to talk to me about what was going on. I am just saying that she is a sweet woman and she made me eat my words. He he he Cody was going to ask me to marry him on my birthday… wow toe jam taste really gross! However, because i stood my ground he and I have decided we need God back in our relationship. lets just see where god takes us from here.

... and talking to my boyfriends Mom and a few of my friends. I am back with Cody. He and I came to a revelation that we have not allowed God in our life like he was when we first got together.So back together with Gods Hands in the relationship agian we will see how it goes!

You know I have made it no secret in my relationship that I wanted to get married but this was mainly revealed after my boyfriend had mentioned it and asked me several times with out a ring. At the moment I am a complete mess because we are now broke up. He put me on the up and down rollercoaster for the past 6 months. First he wants to get married and he actually talks about it. Then he changes his mind with in 24 to 48 hours. Okay great he is young and dumb but I should not have to let him play with my emotions like that. I have been in 2 seriouse relationships that left me running from the alter because it suddenly dawned on me that they were wiether a) treating me like a punching bag or B) counting souly on me for any sort of future. Both… losers. My most recent ex as of 1 hr ago treated me like a queen for the most part. However, I am a very happy out going nerdy type full of fun and he is very to himself and that guy in the corner. I am just so tired of all the stress of work, single mommy hood and a relationship. I need to get my personal life together before i spend so much energy working on a relationship that is more like a 6 flags roller coaster then the tunnel of love.

Okay so this relationship is not my first go around in the whirl wind romance department… however, this is the first man that has ever sent me flowers to work… grant it they are not just because (those are always the best ones) they are for our 6 month anniversary. The card simply read “Happy Anniversary.love, Cody” I was so suprised because it was 4 PM and i realy have not heard from him much through out the day. I first thought this morning he might send me some but by 2PM I had given up hope. Then BAM! there they are! Beautiful gerbers dasies yellow pink and my favorite Orange! I think this one is a keeper! WINK