A small background story: I have never had a close relation to my father, not even when he and my mother were married. One of the reasons is that I always felt more or less declared as an idiot by him. It can be very subtile things and sometimes when I’ve tried to explain this to partners or friends, they don’t really understand what I mean. It tends to sound like a ”I am hating my parents teen age drama”, but to me it is much more severe.
Well… recently there have been a couple of incidents that I would like to hear others opinions on.
First, ”the boyfriend incident”.
I happened talk with someone close to our family about relationships and break ups and so on. The person said something like ”oh, so sad that you have been abandoned by all your boyfriends”
I was very surprised, since most of the break ups I been going through have been either fairly mutual descicions or entirely my own.
I asked about that and the person said ”but your father and his wife told me that! They said you have been so sad over that.”
I was like ”uh, say what?”
1. That’s not true.
2. I have never talked to my father, neither his wife about my relationships other than briefly. I have most definatly never given any details about my separations.
3. Even if it was true, why would they discuss that with person X?
Ok, so I took a deep breath and tried to find a reasonable explanation. Could they possibly have misinterpreted what I’ve told them to that extence? Since I don’t really care about what people think about who’s breaking up with who, I decided to just let it go. I don’t take any pride in being the one who’s leaving, like some people do. But I found it very strange.
Now the ”candysroom is a very strange girl” incident
I have a new relationship since a couple of months. Sadly enough my father and his wife know my boyfriends family. I didn’t knew them before I met my boyfriend.
My boyfriends sister met my father and wife the other day and happened to talk about me. Yes, I think you guessed it right where this is going. The wife started to talk about how boyfriends sis ”must give me a chance, even if I seemed very strange”. ”And please, please, even if you do find candysroom very strange and introvert, don’t say anything negative about her to your brother so he’ll get a negative wiew on her”.
Well, luckily the sister didn’t seem to find me that strange. She even informed my boyfriend about it, since she found my step mothers behaviour so crazy and he passed it on to me.
Ok, so I guess I don’t really know what I should think about it. I don’t see any objective reasons to find me that strange. Well, I am rather introvert. But still, I have a job that demands a lot of contact with people. I handle it fine, I am even a supervisor. I have had a couple of long term relationships, and even if I lately have been dwelling about my lack of friends here on 43things, I have had some good friends over the years. I guess I can’t be that odd.
So what is wrong here? Am I overreacting when I get very mad? I am pending between thinking that these people have a very inaccurate picture of me and try to ”help” in a very misguided way or that they are being flat out manipulative and try to get people to look at me as a very strange person for what reasons I don’t know. And how should I be handling this? 2 months ago