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decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life

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Jana ;)Hell.. first I have to deal with my past.. I guess

Maybe the thing holding me back is not my inability to think of my future but my inability to stop thinking of my past. I really had problem thinking about my teenage years. I thought I wasted it. I could have done much more things, I could have study more, I could have done some sport, I didn’t have to be on every concert. There was lots of regrets about my past. But slowly I’m getting over it. I don’t think about it that often any more. Or better to say, I don’t have so many regrets, or any regrets at all. Yeah, right, I could have done better, but why should my bad behavior have even worse effect on my present or future? Why be so ashamed of it, that I wouldn’t do my best now?

So, this bad period seems to be over right now. But not long time I had to deal with later period, my 20’s. They are not over yet, I must say, but I started having this feeling again.. I could have done more. I could have done better, I could have been somewhere else.

Now, when my earlier regrets disappeared, this weaker regrets started to appear. But one day, in this “before falling asleep state”, I had awaking conversation in semi dream. There was I and some sort of entity, angel, fairy, or how do you want to call him. And he asked me, if I regret the years so much, what would I change? What exactly, which situation, when I would behave differently? And in my mind there was instant answer. I would not change anything! Not in a state I was before, with all the information I had. But moreover, I wouldn’t change anything even with all the information I have now. I mean, all lead me to person I am now, exactly there where I am now, and I wouldn’t change it. Maybe small details, but nothing essential.

Yes, there was one thing I wanted to change. I wanted to do more sport :D. Somehow I thing I hoped my past self would get this routine. Girl.. you are so lazy :) 2 days ago

Jana ;)The defining decade?


And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.” 1 week ago

HelmutI ask

Well, I ask my friends and family what they can picture me doing with my life and they also draw a blank. That seems like a really bad sign to me. A little background: I went to college, but didn’t complete my degree. I’m about 3 classes from finishing it, but I don’t want to finish. I was going to be a teacher for the Deaf/Hard of hearing population. My professors never liked me and made it really hard on me. I became really depressed from all of it. This is a big reason why I’m hesitant to go back to school at all. There’s a part of me that wants to finish school, but I can’t go back for the same thing. I just can’t. I was miserable and realized I couldn’t deal with the politics of becoming a teacher. So, teaching is out. That leaves me with… what?

I haven’t had a decent job for about 2 years now. I moved back in with my parents ‘cause I have no money. Ok I have to stop focusing on the negetives here. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do by eliminating all those things I know I don’t want to do. It’s a longer process than I’d like. But, right now, I feel like it’s the only/best option I have. I think if I could figure out what makes me happy, I’d be set. Unfortunately, I haven’t really been happy for a while now. What to do?

That’s right. Join a team of strangers on the internet going through the same thing! :) I honestly think this will help me. Just venting and receiving the odd comment back. I do often feel like I’m the only one lost in this world. But now I know I’m not the only one. So, there’s a small victory if nothing else. :)

UPDATE: Well, wouldn’t you know it? I ended up going back to school and completing my teaching degree. I learned a lot during my break from school and it served me very well. I got a job less than a month after graduating (in December, no less!) and things are going well. I’m glad I went back. I met AMAZING professors this time around and it was a totally different experience. :) 8 years ago

Dreee 3 weeks ago

true_blueMaybe something computer-related?

I like solving computer-related problems, so maybe I could study something in that field? Need to do some more research. 3 weeks ago

Kaysh 3 weeks ago


Fashion designer? Textile designer? I need to do some research. 1 month ago

robinsounds 5 years ago

6750km 5 years ago

sry 7 years ago


SetonaHill 2 months ago

arzuozbek 2 months ago

jessmah8 2 months ago

smartenupman 2 months ago

Sarah Urquidez 2 months ago

kleges 7 years ago

Padswat 3 months ago

Amanda 3 months ago

michelledauphine 10 months ago

myunquietmynd 3 months ago

ch12345Not sure about this one

You shouldn’t have to decide something like this once. Take each day as it comes and adjust your life as you go, continuously. 3 months ago

ch12345 5 years ago

fallin_dreamsI forgot about this site...

So, I have spent the last two years working hard at this goal. I am in a program to get my Masters degree in Occupational Therapy. I have worked very hard to get both part time jobs and volunteer opportunities to gain hands on experience as well. Hopefully this will at least help with the whole job and financial part of the “rest of my life”. Good luck to everyone else ;) 3 months ago

AdiFletcher 4 months ago

yiha 4 months ago

soozlee 4 months ago

Angelica Anarchy 4 months ago

gibberish3 4 months ago

wjy33399 4 months ago

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