be mindful of my relative place in the world

“Tripping Over Joy”

What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, ?I Surrender!?
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.

I’ve always been thankful for what I have…even the difficult things shape who we are. The forces of nature are not so concerned with any individual one of us, so there’s no need to ask ‘why me’...there’s no answer to that. The thing to do is take the raw material of your life, whatever it is, and keep moving.

My friend C helped me identify this: that it’s okay to be happy with what you have right now.

-I’m paying rent (but I don’t WANT to buy a condo)
-I like my job (but I’m not getting paid as much as my cohorts)
-I have a boyfriend whom I love (but don’t know if we’ll end up
married)
-I’m a size 12 (but I’m trying hard to eat right and exercise)

Do I need to I wonder what will happen in the next several years and worry that I’m not on “track” (with job, body, husband, children, etc.)? Whose timetable am I on anyway? Who says there even IS a timetable?!

It’s not always easy, or even possible, to live each days like its your last. We need to know there’s something to get up for tomorrow, even if its out of routine. Which doesn’t mean there’s no value to those everyday-days. Remember that by “driving only as far as your headlights shine, you can get all the way across the country.”

That’s what someone told me today. Of course, she is the heroine of her own story as well, so she would know. It’s easier to see her life a story than it is to see my own. Mine I see as a series of badly edited vignettes!

However, if she is right then I have to realize that characters will come and go, or stay, but I need to keep myself at the focus. This seems a less humble framing of this goal. Or maybe it’s not…..hmmm….

There are two aspects to this goal. One is personal, the other is global.

Personally, I want to remember that wherever I am, that is where I am supposed to be at that time. Be that confused, contented, in transition, or at rest (if that ever comes).

Globally, there are also two categories of acknowledgement. First, I want to realize that I am no less important that the person next to me. Be they smarter, more successful (success by MY definition), or better put-together. And on the other hand, I am but one person in this world, and my only importance is really as the smallest part of nature’s reality.