be patient with annoying people

So, there is this girl at school…name witheld* ... and she copies EVERYTHING I do…it not only bugs the crap out of me, but several of my friends have come up and said “Ashlyn…you need to talk to her and make her stop.” My lifestyle, phrases (that I made up so there is no way she like heard it on TV or anything), thoughts, drawings…its like she has plagarized* my life and I wish she would fall off a cliff. stop. In a way I should be flattered…but im NOT.

This really depends on my overall mood and outlook.

Fortunately my overall mood and outlook have been steadily improving over the past 2 years, especially since the last holiday season (it was pretty low for a while before that – high stress).

So I’m going to mark this goal as complete. Not because I will always be patient (hardly!), but because I am now less impatient. Not aiming for perfection, just progress :-)

Plus I’m shifting my focus from this goal – which has a slightly negative connotation – to my new goal: Be in an exceptionally good mood as often as possible. I call that progress!

This isn’t something that bugs me, but (because of a previous post) I do feel compelled to comment:

90% of the time the kids at my school are reasonably cooperative and well-behaved. Ok there’s always 1 or 2 who sleep in class, but a) that’s accepted in Japan and b) it doesn’t bug me as long as they’re not disrupting others.

AND the class that I complained about 2 posts ago – has been better lately, especially the star-tantrum-thrower. I think it’s just that they had gotten their tests back and were really hating English that day, feeling resentful of teachers in general, or something along those lines.

Groups have personalities (as much as individuals do!), and likewise, good and bad days.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-posada7nov07,0,2017074.story?coll=la-home-nation

Stuff like this bugs me a lot. I don’t really want to get into politics on 43things (even though I am interested in politics), but i just couldn’t resist this.

I’m not a Bush fan in the slightest, but this is not so much a Bush issue per se… whichever politicians were in charge would have their hands full with this situation. I just find it really ironic how often the US’ past (& undoubtedly current)interventions in other countries comes back to bite them in the ass.

It especially bugs me because they consistently undermine the UN.

The media probably won’t make it a big deal, but I’m pessimistically predicting that this guy is going to ‘die of natural causes’ soon. I hope not though, ‘cause it will be interesting to see where this goes.

I don’t know why, but today it seemed like all the kids at school were being little sh*ts. Especially in 101 class… there’s one girl who’s totally outrageous. Especially for a student in Japan! I’m glad I’m not the main teacher for the class because I probably would have yelled at her.

She was kicking her shoes up in the air, where they hit a random classmate on the head. She left one of her 2 bags in the centre between the rows of desks. The teacher had seen it there, and moved it to the side, out of the way. But the girl defiantly picked it up and dropped it back where it had been. Then when the teacher was trying to give instructions to the class, this girl started loudly saying “Hello. HELLO. HELLO!” at me while I was in front of the class. I didn’t let her catch my eye, because I was so steamed after all her bullshit I probably would have done something inappropriate.

Three minutes later, the class started their activity, and she was doing it again, to me, loudly. I finally walked up to her tiny desk, leaned right over it and stuck my ear in her face and said “Yes? Say it louder… LOUDER please! Come on, you can do it! Go ahead.” She leaned back as far as she could, and started giggling, but at least she shut up and stopped yelling.
She tried it again halfway through the class “HELLO! HELLO!”, but as soon as I walked toward her desk with determination, she shut up and leaned away again…

Of course, because one kid was acting up, the others weren’t giving the teacher any respect either, but at least they were less blatant about it.

I’m not one to hold a grudge, at all, but this kid is infuriating. [However, I myself was rather infuriating, back in the day :-) I guess karma’s catching up with me!]

My guess is that it’s a combination of boredom (she got 30% on the English test, so obviously was feeling frustrated in the class), energetic extroversion (which is frowned upon in Japan), a need for attention (aggressive class clown), and the normal agonies of puberty.

God, puberty sucked. Anyway, I’ll try to keep an eye out for her in the halls, and try to say “Hi!” then, so she gets a bit of attention, when it’s APPROPRIATE.

Brat.

Today, while sitting in traffic. I was like…Grr!! I wish these people would get OUT OF MY WAAAYY! ... But then my favorite song came on and I was like…:) <3 ..."Its ok traffic people I forgive you! I know Its not your fault...I can wait to buy those tubs for packing." BTW...Packing=Gods way of saying "You Suck."

...is directly related to my stress level. Not necessarily stress that I’m aware of such as “Come ON! I have a lot to do today”, but rather the subconscious kind (let’s call it ambient stress), which in my case recently arises from feeling misunderstood, unable to relate, and alienated.

Anyway, I haven’t been feeling as much ambient stress lately, so I find it much easier to cope with annoying people.

It’s amazing how many negative spin-offs come from feeling stressed. Controlling ambient stress levels is really hard – the only things that seem to work for me so far are being really busy (adding a different kind of stress to substitute, I guess), and practicing appreciation (at least trying to!).

what I love about real friends is that when they’re being annoying – you can just TELL THEM that they’re being annoying. And they don’t get offended – well mine don’t. (Or maybe I only tell the ones who I know can hack it. Hmm. That could be it.)

It doesn’t bother me if a friend tells me I’m being annoying, because I know they like me overall, regardless. Usually when I am being annoying, I can recognize it when someone calls me on it.

I think it’s good when my friends don’t just suffer in silence – or start to avoid me… that would be much worse.

Yay friends.

I think one thing that will help me achieve this goal for good is to become more picky about who I spend time with.

It sounds a little unfair maybe, but my idea is simply to try to balance [basic social skills] with [clear communication].

Question: in the interest of not jerking people around – what’s the best thing to say to someone who: wants to be your friend, but you either have no interest, or see something potentially “toxic” about them.

I believe that most people in North America often just avoid, avoid, avoid – even when directly asked by the person “Are you avoiding me?” The automatic response is “Who, me? No I’ve just been busy. Really.”

I have done this myself in the past, and I know it’s bad behaviour. Is a direct: “you’re not the kind of friend I’m looking for” better? – or just not responding to messages at all? Anyone have an opinion?

{Incidentally, same goes for ladies when a guy asks for your phone number. You aren’t interested in him – so, what do you do? Fake number? Give your number and a) hope he doesn’t call? b) not answer if he does call? }

Oh, this one’s going to be TOUGH!

I find that this really depends on my mood before I encounter the annoying people. Sometimes I just laugh to myself and think “Thank god I’m not YOU!”, but other times I get really bitchy.

Perhaps the best way to achieve this is to strive to be in a good mood all the time (yeah, like that’s really an achievable goal!). Regular exercise might help. A lobotomy would definitely help.