Not be afraid of getting older

I can’t imagine being afraid from where I’m standing now, having just turned 39, almost two years since I wrote my last entry under this goal. I just told a friend that I had a crush on myself in my 30s but I plan to have a full on affair with myself during my 40s.

I just got carded. I’m 37. Clearly this is not a fear I can justify. I am going to get older or die now. Those are the choices. I’m going to throw my vote with getting older and get over myself. My Mom is 73 and she’s the damn bomb. My Dad is 80 and likewise.

Not mention my age. Try to live without it for awhile and see how I feel.

My mother is fabulous at 73. I’m fabulous at 37. But every once in awhile, when I see a man I’d consider dating eyeing the little girls (I’m not being literal here, I mean 18-25), I get confused. Why would I want a guy who doesn’t value me? Where does this weird insecurity come from? Working on this one without soliciting outside reassurance will be the hard one. If I don’t believe I can continue to be amazing and attractive as I age, no one else’s compliments will make me believe it. I gotta figure this one out myself.