but i need some time away from the thought of relationships etc right now! 6 years ago

i am no longer putting up with stuff i don’t like from c. he found out i was with someone else and rather than say that i was sorry i owned up to it and forced him to see his role in the entire situation. as a response he realized that he’d rather have me than not have me and we’ve been together ever since. he’s met family, told me what he likes and loves about me, has told me that he loves and would do anything for me and has been supportive and wonderful. i finally feel like i’m getting what i deserve, what i’ve been working toward for two years.

i still don’t like that he goes away for 3 days at a time when i can’t see him becuase he’s busy but i need to be comfortable in our relationship and not worry about where he is and why he’s not with me. he’s busy and even while busy, he makes time to stay in touch.

i would like him to communicate more with me but he’s getting better, learning his comfortable areas of discussion and opening up more about his concerns and feelings.

all because i did my thing and made sure that i was taking care of myself first and foremost! 6 years ago

i know i’m settling by being with c but i just can’t seem to break the cycle. i haven’t met anyone who i find as attractive, as intelligent, as sweet and caring as he is but at the end of the day he is, and will remain emotionally unavailable to me! he will never tell me that he loves me, nor be overly affectionate or forthcoming with words and its hard and it hurts…

i’m not happy with where i am but i’m not sure how to break the cycle! i’m a strong woman but i feel pretty stupid, and weak right now…

wow, that was really tough to say! 6 years ago

at asking for what i need and then letting others react to it. so far the reaction has been good!

which is nice for my confidence because it helps me to realize that they enjoy spending time with me because of me…not because they want sex or whatever 6 years ago

i was thinking about a good friend i had who i stopped talking to because i wasn’t happy with the way she acted/reacted to the fact that i was dating someone that she didn’t think was good enough for me.

since then i’ve felt guilty about just cutting off contact with her but in reality i was angry and hurt that she would ignore the fact that i may see something meaningful and wonderful in this man that makes him worthy of my affection. i was also frustrated that she was getting her information from tf who was a common friend…

and she didn’t make an effort to stay in contact with me

you’d think that these things would be enough for me to feel justified in making some space but i don’t! i feel guilty! like i’m always supposed to make the best of every situation and thank my lucky stars that someone wants to be friends with me!

one thing i learnt from my mum is that she does what she can to avoid confrontation or people not being happy with her so she’ll try and make things better for others at the expense of herself and i’m totally doing the same thing!

so…how to change this…seems like a huge task! 6 years ago

today and i feel pretty strange about it…but good!

a guy friend i knew for a really short time before i left wanted to see me after i get home and before he goes out of town for the long weekend. i said no…that i needed sometime on my own.

it was hard because a)i know that i want this man in my life and b) i know that he wants to be my man which can’t work because he’s not a good fit for me and for what i want right now.

i have to find the inner strength to be ok with asking for his friendship with no physical relationship or dating…he may say no, he may not want to spend time with me and that would hurt a lot since i’ve really grown to appreciate his friendship. 6 years ago

i enter into relationships with men who are goal orientated like i am and i end up being pretty low on their list of priorities. they don’t appear interested in making a relationship with me a priority and i don’t like that!

i want someone who sees the value in being with me and knows that things must be done to maintain and further that relationship 6 years ago

and i need to keep this in mind when i’m thinking about relationships because it is this selfishness that keeps people striving for what they want. i can’t assume that my needs are going to be obvious or clear to anyone else, nor can i assume the needs of others!

while a degree of selfishness in a partner is natural, i have to ensure that their needs do not come at the expense of mine! 6 years ago

you will not abuse me mentally, physically or verbally.

you will understand your own anger and will be able and willing to express your feelings or remove yourself from the situation so as to curtail your anger.

you will not resent or disapprove of what i’m doing or how i’m living my life and if you are concerned with a decision i have made that affects you, you will discuss it with me so that i am aware of your feelings.

while i am a generous person, you will not take advantage of my kindness. you will not prey on my weaknesses to your advantage, nor will you attempt to make me feel guilty for the woman that i am and the needs that i have.

you will not attempt to remove me from my social circle and while you need not love my friends like i do, you will respect the role they play in my life and in making me the woman that you are!

you will respect me and will treat me with respect! 6 years ago

i want someone who has passion and who pursues his passion. i like someone who is active and keeps their mind and body engaged.

they must have a life beyond work, must have something which brings joy and meaning to their lives…

not sure how i feel about someone sitting in front of their computer for hours either surfing or playing games…is it a waste of time or a de-stressing activity?? 6 years ago

i am tired of men who can’t communicate with me. i am not asking for a chatter box but good lord, when you want something…ask for it! i cannot read minds!

i have to stand behind this need! i know that there are those who are better at doing than saying and that’s fine but at the end of the day after 2 yrs, you have got to step up and be able to tell me you love me…if you can’t, then i’ll have to assume you don’t! 6 years ago

i will not compromise my values for the needs of others!

well…i’ll try not to anyway :) 6 years ago

i’m reading an amazing book by moore called soul mates. its about finding the peace you need through soulful relationships with men and women! it teaches you how to focus positive energy on finding peace in relationships you have and removing yourself from negative relationships!

its a tough read sometimes but i’ve found it so rewarding! i suggest it to anyone who’s examining their relationships! 6 years ago

I don’t ever want to settle for something. I never want to become discouraged and give up on what I want. 7 years ago