Grow in my faith

A few months back, I was a little lost and I’d been thinking a lot (maybe too much) about life and its purpose, or rather, my purpose here.

I’ve also thought about the whys and hows and whats, but now, I’m improving on the belief part of it. I guess I was confused before.

The only thing I need to do is to be happy, even about the simplest things in life. ‘Cos life is what you make of it!

This is always going to be a work of progress, but I know that no matter what I do, God will always love me and I am forever in his grace.

is also something that goes along with “stop fibbing.” Growing in faith is a work of the soul, not the body. One can get active and lose weight so they don’t have a heart attack at 28, but when you grow in faith, what exactly is it that you have to do? For this, I have no idea what could be done. We haven’t been going to church regularly, but I don’t necessarily think that’s the solution to this problem. For now, I will mark this one complete. There will be times when my faith is questioned by myself, but I should be the only one questioning it. I live my life the best way I know how. I learn as I go and for the most part I depend on myself to follow through with things. I don’t always “Give it to God” because frankly, he gave us free will to see what we’ll do with it. He’s pretty hands off that way.

Two words: I BELIEVE

Can you say them about anything/anyone and mean it?

Good on ya, if you can.

I have been praying a lot that God will put me where I need to be. And despite going through some really rough times lately I feel as though He is answering my prayers. I just got a job at a faith-based firm. I feel like this is a great way to meet and work with other people of faith which will hopefully only make mine stronger. It is also nice to have a job where I can see what I am doing actually making a difference instead of just being a cog in the machine.

I feel as though I have already grown so much in just the last month that I think it can only get better.

indefinite hiatus.

i’m finally, somewhat unwillingly, back in church. i still feel lost and out of place, but i think everything should be ok now that i’m making an effort too.

... For he has provided for me once again. My money was dwindling FAST and i had many bills coming up within the next week. Long story short, i randomly looked at my bank account summery, which I never do and noticed a payment that I dont remember. Turns out, ive been paying for MSN since June 2005, even after I called to cancell it. So, MSN is crediting me $350 strait to my bank account. How awesome is that? How awesome is God?

men’s group this week. I don’t know why… Well, yes, I do know why. The last time I spoke to anyone outside the group, the leader’s secretary called me to set up an appointment to have coffee. I’m not sure what this means. I know he’s a busy guy, but as we’re supposed to be “friends,” that seems a tad impersonal. I’m not faulting him for being busy. We all are. It’s just that this always happens to me. I went into this group excited at the prospect of becoming part of something that could strengthen my relationship with Christ and my wife. I have also done a lot to try and build the group up. I created an online message board that never gets used and feel left out of this as well. All this has done was show me that I don’t have a problem with porn and we have a very healthy relationship because we talk to one another. I’m writing this from spite, I know, but I can’t help it. The human in me trying to fight his way out.

For now, I’m in limbo. I am writing an article for the church newsletter about the group. I’ve submitted questions for their review and response, but so far only one has gotten back to me. It has been a week. We’ll see what happens.

... when you really need it. That is becoming more apparent to me.

I was running low on funds (as always) and needed to refill my medication which cost $60. It was the end of the semester and I sold back my books and got…exactly $60.

And now, a month later, when Im finding it hard to pay bills (my most recent one being $30) I got a babysitting gig through work for tonight. I showed up and hung out for an hour while the dad tried to get himself together when It turns out he couldnt leave after all. Even after I declined, he insisted on paying me. And when I got in my car and counted it… it was $30…just in time.

I think the Lord is just trying to tell me that he hears my prayers and for as long as I remain faithful, he will provide for me.

The Lord works in Mysterious ways.