(R- sociated Press) His Majesty, King John Tarik of the Streets of Chicago, Khan of Cyberia, was getting pretty sick and tired of that damn spam. One day, he just freaking flipped. Here is just one result, see for your own self:
Original Message
From: mansa sarpong mnesh99@wvgradw.com
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 7:20:36 PM
Subject: DEAR FRIEND (Yeh, right. Fair fucking weather friend)
Hello Friend,
My name is Mrs mansa sarpong,(sic—you got that right!) I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to charity through you.You may be wondering why I chose you.
(Cuz you desperate, bitch, that’s why!)
But someone has to be chosen. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed (space here for coughing, spastic acting, cyber spittle, etc) for cancer about 2 years ago,immediately after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for.I have been touched by the lord (yeh I bet he done touched you woman, in a laddda places) to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity,rather than allow my relatives to use my husband’s hard earned funds inappropriately.
(That’s caus your relatives are a bunch of Nigerian thugs and thieves, you stupid cunt)I have asked the lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has,because He is merciful. I will be going in for an operation,and I pray that I survive the operation. I have decided to WILL/Donate the sum of $5.5 Million (Five Million five Hundred thousand Dollars) to charity through you for the good work of the lord, and to help the motherless,less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, due to the fact that my relatives are around me and I have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls because I deserve all the rest I can get.
Presently,I have informed my lawyer about my decision in WILLING this fund to charity through you. (Gee thanks a whole fucking lot) I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.If you are interested in carrying out this task,i will inform my Family Lawyer so that he can arrange the release of the funds to you. (O.K. Fine. You do that. Meanwhile I got C.S.I to watch)
I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this,and I hope you act sincerely.I will pay you 40% of this money if … (Oh shut the fuck up already!!!)
Love (insert abundante sappy pink coloured emoticons here)
Mrs sarpong
Here is King John’s reply to the poor sick woman:
“Dying is not so very bad. You should try it. I did.
I’ll see you on the other side.
Love,
KIng JOhn”
