I guess I am actually getting there. Sure, I still talk a little too much about some things (though not as detailed and often as I used to), but keep hitting myself with an imaginary baseball bat as soon as I start thinking too much. (It´s working^^)
Whenever I get a text I am still glad and sometimes excited but less worried, I wonder less what to answer, I wonder less about how long it takes him to answer and so on. Sure, the wondering part won´t go away completely, but it´s definitely getting less annoying and stressing. Analyzing will always be part of how I do things, but I have to be careful not to let it take over my life. A lot of things are spoiled once one thinks about them for too long. Guess it´s gonna be my big challenge to find this balance between what´s good for me and the point where it becomes pure self-torture…
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this is haaaaard, not check every message a thousand times for signals and so on… but I watched “he´s just not into you” yesterday with a friend and it actually helped seeing how ridiculous all this fuss is! And I don´t mean just the relationship/guy related things, I mean everything! It´s so exhausting to constantly think about what this or that means or what he or she is trying to say, how they are trying to say it and so on…. I think I´d be way happier and relaxed if stopped this kind of drama.
From this point of view this goes perfectly with my other goals “relax about life” and “just be”, maybe I should post-its up all around the apartment reminding me of these three goals ;)
The worst is when I can’t stop analyzing what I do. I find it really hard to act naturally and open up to people. I find talking to people difficult, especially those I don’t know. I analyze everything before I say it, and it creates a whole lot of anxiety about what I’m about to say or, more likely, won’t end up saying. Something like e-mail is better and worse in that I have more time to really think about what I want to say. I think communicating in an articulate and meaningful way is important, but I should accept that something as complex and baffling as language can’t always offer the perfect communication between people. It’s amazing we can even communicate at all.
I never analyze conversations that go how I like them to. This makes it even less sensical to analyze what people say. “I don’t like it, so I’ll think about why you said it.” People don’t talk how you want them to, they talk how they want to. Let it be.
