Become a bestselling author.

I have decided to embark on the completion of a novel in order to acheive my goal of becoming a best-selling author.

I started on the outline and ended up with an awesome plan for a novel series!! Completely the opposite of what I expected. I finished the outline, quite detailed I might add, and am now commencing the actual rough draft of the first chapter.

I’ll admit, I am having trouble with connecting firmly to the main character in the first chapter, but I think I’m getting there. Four, maybe five more drafts ought to do it. Wish me luck!!

I had a dream last night, in that I was doing something that I’ve always wanted to do. It was in this dream that I had an epiphany. Happiness comes from actually DOING something, rather than merely dreaming about it. How about that? What’s more…attempting to accomplish that thing that seems so monumental really puts the mountain in perspective…and so it becomes less of a monstrosity, and more of an anthill. It is within the attempt that the fear begins to dissipate and you realize that it is fear that makes it seem so huge in the first place.

This epiphany, however insignificant it may be, really speaks a lot of truths about me and the way that I handle my life; even though I don’t always like to admit that. I mean, how do you acknowledge fear when you aren’t sure what you are afraid OF? To simply apply the label to a current obsession doesn’t seem quite fair, as fear is something entirely different from fixation. Fear prohibits growth, while fixation grows out of control.

Now, I can look at myself and say with relative certainty that I am an obsessive type of person. I latch on to things…to people, objects, thoughts and ideas…and allow them to steer me in whatever direction seems most appealing at the time. I do not see the forest for the trees in this way, as the forest is obscured by the eye-catching shrubbery that is my current obsession. So, I dedicate myself to the short-range greenery, all the while knowing that there is something way more grandiose beyond it…grandiose, yet filled with shadows of doubt and fear.

And maybe that is how I deal with it. Maybe I welcome the obsessions in order to stave off the impending fears. So if I can admit to that, does it make it any easier to change? Does admittance bequeath motivation?

Somehow, I do not think so. Somehow, I have this feeling that I need to find a way to latch on to the fear itself, and use it as a launching pad to accomplishment. After all, there’s no guarantee that a sky diver’s parachute will open, yet multitudes of them jump from the plane anyway. What makes me so different? If I am smart enough to admit to having faults, I might as well secure my beliefs about them and utilize what they can offer, lest they become wasted thoughts from a wistful mind.

I wouldn’t want my thoughts to go to waste.

There’s so much that I want to say about this, but right now is not the time. To put it simply, I want to write. I want to give the gift of beauty to the world. I want to reignite the passion that I used to have for the written word, and I want to do it in a way that will make my children proud of me.

i want to beacome an author CAUSE THAT WOULD BE UBER COOL

i have 4 manuscripts out to publishers at the moment.

this week i will be sending another one as well as a query for my children’s book.

go me!

I write… I write… I write… and I write.

NOW, it’s time to sell sell sell. I have 3 salable books I need to market and a plan for more.

This is my destiny.

The more I find out how distasteful the work world is, the more I just want to do what I’ve always wanted to do. Write. Lots and lots, for fun, for me, for success, for nothing, for everything. Publishing a book of fiction is something I’ve wanted to since I first learned to put my ideas into words. If I do one thing, it will be this. And of course, it would be wonderful for that book to be of recognized merit.

I want to be a bestselling author not only of a book, or a series of books… But a poetry book. I want to fill tons of pages with good poetry and send billions of copies all over the world.

I want to share my creation.

It would be a dream come true.