go an entire week without checking my e-mail

I felt hermit-y and sad when I wrote this and I don’t anymore.

I do this everynow and then. Infact, I am a dab hand at going MIA. AWOL. Incommunicando.

I just like being out of touch for a while. Life can be overwhelming. Maybe for most this is manageable but I like to duck out of it every once in a while.

I can afford to do this at certain periods more than others. And it also helps having 2 phones. One that is my personal number and that I have had and retained for longer that I have been a Mother. This is the one that I turn off readily. My money making phone is a different matter. I feel there is a certain anonyminity attached to it, I don’t even have a phone book list stored on it and I have made it clear to a couple of my friends that might feel the need to use it to make contact that it is off bounds unless the world is ending.

If you can’t get through on my personal, understand that I need some time out.

What has this got to do with email checking? Well, a lot. Because for the same reason I mentioned in the onset, my personal email is something I have been known to submerge myself in and have been unhealthly attached to leading me to conclude that the need to dis-engage should be a regular one.

With my email I point blank refuse to go anywhere near it and won’t sign in until the week or two is up, depending on the period I have imposed on myself. But with my phone I will turn it on discriminately every couple of days to check voicemail and messages. I probably feel inspired to act on what I might find 3% of the time. Mainly when my mental health keyworker has called or some Agent in regards to some casting but hardly ever when it concerns family affairs or friends checking in.

I do this with my landline as well. Just unplug it from the socket and leave it be.

I am not saying this is normal behaviour nor am I advocating this. TBH, I am sure it has a lot to do with my state of mind but it works for me.

When I was younger I would take myself off on jaunst. For example, going raving on a saturday night and subsequently disappearing for the following couple of weeks. Now that I am a Mother I can’t engage in such impulsive meandering but that is not to say I do not wish to recreate that state emotionally. Somehow, someway.

I want to do this goal v e r y s l o w l y. Like how they suggest people ween themselves off of coffee. First you replace part of the cup with decaf yadda-yadda.

I’ll start by only checking my e-mail once a day for a week, then the next week check it every other day, then the next week every third day and so on until I build up to no e-mail at all for a whole week.

I’ll start with the whole once a day thing on monday… yay!