Practice discretion

She’s the master.

I’ve learned when to keep my mouth shut and when to talk of other things, and generally am trying to avoid “bitching” about people and things. I still sometimes discuss unhappy topics with a circle of intimates, but I tend to think of that as me more nutting stuff out, outside of my own head, and getting some feedback due to the fact that I know I have a tendency to dwell and over-read nuances in situations.
I’m pretty happy with my level of discretion – occasional mistakes still happen, but I’m okay with learning from that.

I’ve had the opportunity to practice this in the past month or two. Still not perfect, but I’ve improved alot – trying to maintain a line between talking about general news of others and gossip has helped.

In an attempt to be discreet about all the shit swirling around me, I am now faced with a bunch of people who, because I will not talk shit about others with them, think I am on someone else’s “side” – simply because I am choosing Not To Choose a Side.

Partly because I have my date of new beginnings (although I was still holding off a little waiting for the contract), but also because I found out today that telling my line manager and his manager meant that all the other managers in the building were told (oi! grrr), and also the head of admin (half expected that one, so I’d forewarned her) and another member of staff who happened to be included in the managers’ meeting one week when they decided they wanted to talk about me.

Bloody hell! So much for me keeping my mouth shut – no one else could!!

So… told my longest standing/remaining colleague today, ‘cos I wanted to let him know, and tomorrow will break it to the newbie. Feel almost guilty over that ‘cos she’s nice and has obviously been trying to bond. Oh well!

Now to start planning my leaving do! :D

But I think it matters less now :D

So today my mobile phone rings while I’m at work, and for the second time this week I’m scooting off to a different room to hold a private conversation. I have my lie cover-story all worked out, but no one asks. I’m sure they’re suspicious, though – especially when I’m taking afternoons off here and there. Hmm.

Broke my vow of discretion twice this week, and I’m regretting neither! Today it was to ask someone (one of next week’s escapees, actually, so damage control is assured!) about CRM – the horrible, scary, totally unknown subject of my interview presentation next week. I need all the help I can get!

The other wasn’t about the job hunting, but the man hunting (!). And it wasn’t a slip, I just didn’t bother lying when she asked me straight out. And considering she’s now telling me that she “Predicts great success” for next Friday night, my confidence is thanking this indiscretion :)

Alas, when asked straight out why you’re taking the afternoon off, one has to say something. So, urm, if anyone asks I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, ‘kay? ;)

I have a job interview on Thursday!I don’t want to be here any more!I can’t WAIT to escape!Your silly problems are meaningless!

There. I will button my lip and keep myself sane by remembering my secret :) (even when I’m away at the leaving lunch full of former and soon-to-be escapees – I will say nothing!!)

when I’d let strangers into my home because they were homeless. Now I bring them to my church or local shelters. There was a time I’d compromise the safety of my family unwittingly, innocently. I used to pick up anyone that looked like they need help. I don’t do that any more. Women and children are the only ones I stop for now. The rest I’ll call 911 for and give their location. Not that I won’t help; I do. Hard-hearted? Yes. However, if I don’t take care of my own safety how will I be there for my children? My Daddy used to say, “There’s not a lot of bad people on the earth; they just move around really fast!” Not so anymore and I’ve got the scars, emotionally and physically, to prove it. So, my advice? Descretion IS the better part of valor. Help, but help wisely.