never give up on myself

But my two steps forward still keep me moving when I am pushed one step back!

because there is a reason I am struggling, there is a reason I want more for myself, there is a reason I am driven to find my happiness…
I deserve at least as much love and support as I give to others; my analytical mind will not let me disprove that. so what choice do I have but to NOT give up? sobering, true. But its an opening instead of a finality.

I guess all the years I’ve been usings preceeded all the years I’ve been depressed, anxious and suicidal. Only yesterday by admitting I am powerless over alcohol and resolving that I do want to stop drinking does my self-esteem and happiness really have a chance. I am so thankful and grateful to be exactly where I am right now. Finding God again gives me so much strength, I can finally feel myself going through what I’ve been wanting to go through for so long. I know its only been a day or so, but I have great hope for myself.

...a few times during this past year.

But giving up on myself would mean giving up on my wife and my infant son which would not do.

So I have “true grit” and “a stiff upper lip.”

• True grit = displaying fortitude and determination
• A stiff upper lip = resolute & fortitude in the face of adversity, or exercising self-restraint in the expression of emotion

but Im really stubborn about giving up on things now tho.