get out of the house more

Today I DID get up and drive a half hour to go shopping. That’s a big thing for me as I am not much of a shopper. It was actually quite nice having a change of scenery, buying a couple of new things. It’s a rainy day, and when I got home it felt even better to be home, since I wasn’t here all day!
Who knows what’s next for me?!

Yes, I am boring, I like being home, and I get anxious sometimes when I am out in public.

But seriously, I need to get a life, some variety, some perspective here.

Starting today.. I am not working, so I need a plan. I am determined to come back online later and report something new and different!

I’m tempted to mark this goal as done since lately all I’ve been doing is getting out of the house as much as possible, basically I only sleep and sometimes eat at home, I’ve spent most of my weekends somewhere else than home recently and I’m loving every second. I’m just scared all this will disappear when summer’s over and in autumn (and winter! I’m going to die of boredom in winter) I’ll end up spending all my free time doing nothing, sulking in my room. _{hopefully not}

What have I been doing lately? In a nutshell: working during the week and anywhere else than home in the weekends. I’ve had so much to do lately, I’ve been on the go so to speak and the time I spend on the internet is the first one to be sacrificed. :) Not that I’m complaining, I love this, I had never even realised how much more awesome it is to actually go out of the house and kind of… participate in the world around me.

It barely feels like I’m living here anymore, ‘home’ has become a place where I basically just sleep and eat occasionally. I’m still planning on moving out soon and planning that keeps me busy as well.

I love it how my weekends seem to be full of things to do – gigs, drinking with friends, festivals… Life truly is out there, I only get depressed when I spend too much time alone with my thoughts, in a way I think it is possible to think too much, at some point your thoughts will get (severely) distorted. I haven’t given up on reflecting myself or trying to understand myself as deeply as possible, but doing things and spending time with people helps me to lighten up a bit and that’s always a good thing. :)

It’s funny, yesterday (Saturday) I thought how weird it was to be home on Saturday evening and perhaps even have time to do something on Sunday, since lately my Sundays have gone by trying to cure my hangover. :D I mean, there’s such a stark difference to the past – a year ago I never would have imagined myself going out this much, it was a good thing if I got out of the house like, once in every two weeks or so. And now… now I hardly spend time at home anymore. :D I really like it this way much more.

get out of the house more

I wrote an entry one year ago.
Lots happened. The Lexapro made it worse. I had to quit them. a few months later another doctor gave me Prozac. Then we discovered it seems I am allergic to these kind of meds. Lots of side effects even months after I’d stopped taking them so I am off the A.D.
It is still a fight going out the door but once I am on my bike I feel good. It is just the step of going.
I try to go at least every week and sometimes twice. More often twice so it is a bit better.
I just have to accept I will never live a normal life and life will always be a struggle for me.

I want to start taking yoga classes with my mother and sister in-law. We’ve been talking about it for a while, so we need to actually get on the ball. Other than that, I should just tell people when I’m free, or when I want to go see a movie or something. I’m shy, but whenever I do come out and say I want to do something there’s always someone who will say they want to as well. So it’s not so difficult to go out and have fun, it’s just a matter of putting myself out there.

I get out so much more these days! Especially recently, I’ve started doing lots more. Started playing D&D with a group once a week. Anime club meetings are over for the semester, but we’re having some at people’s houses for the summer, which has been a lot of fun. And I’ve been to the movies twice within the past few weeks. All of this is a huge deal to me, who used to be a complete social recluse a year ago. But I would still like to get out even more. I’m having so much fun, and I want to more often. So I’ll try to do so!

This week has been quite full of activities, I can’t even remember the last time I have done so much outside the house. Tuesday was so much fun, I met new people and had a great time with them. At first I was just supposed to meet J over a cup of coffee tea, but ended up spending more time with him and a couple of his friends and in the end I didn’t even get back home that night and instead slept at J’s place. Mum wasn’t pleased about that at all, which really, to be honest, didn’t make much sense to me (but there were a couple of other things that had made her worried and angry, so…). Wednesday was pretty much the same, spent most of the day with J (again, really enjoyable) and today I first went to the hairdresser’s (pictures when I feel up to it, tomorrow perhaps?) and then met up with two friends. And now I’m here, updating my 43things. :D I’ve been so… active it amazes and delights me, I could get used to this kind of life. Luckily this week isn’t even over yet, I’m going to a concert tomorrow and on Saturday is my friend’s graduation party, we’re going out drinking, I’m kind of waiting for that, it should be fun.

Work starts next week _(bleh) but weekends will hopefully be full of stuff to do. I’m going to make sure that’s the way it’ll be. :)

I get so bored in my apartment alone. I need to find things to do that dont involve much money.. also need to meet more people in the area.