Get along with my mother

It was indeed too much for me. I think it could have been done if we didn’t have the type of relationship that we do.

She was here for exactly two weeks. It was hard, harder than I thought in different ways than I thought.

I think mostly it felt like I had company ALL THE TIME and the company was comparable to a 4 year old that needs to be taken care of. AND that company was my mother.

I guess that feeling would have changed over time, but I don’t have it in me right now.
I haven’t had my kids all summer and they came back just the day before she moved in- already one adjustment- I’m still…. I don’t know what…. reeling from the whole boyfriend/ daughter n law affair. Mostly because it seems to be in my face a lot.

I have one son who is ADHD (like literally- if he is not on medication they will not allow him to attend school) and another who is emotionally unstable… he came back from the year with his dad suicidal… I have to be able to deal with him also.

I just have too much on my plate I think. If I would have kept her I would be EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE… and hell I’m already female…. and some day do want a realationship with a man…. I don’t need anymnore emotionally unstable shit in my life!!

So… no mother…. no unhealthy boyfriend… just me and my kids and it feels pretty damn good!!

I got a phone call yesterday from the evil lady who put me through a bad time with paper work and whatever. My mother’s long term healthcare has FINALLY kicked in. They are going to take it back all the way to Jan when this all began.

I will to tell her this a.m. I will also tell her about Jason and me.

I have someone from work coming to finish the drywall for me for free. I need to call him. Need to move the girls out of the one bedroom into the newly done room.

Fix their old room up for her and go to storage (in this heat) and get what ever I think she needs for her new room.

I figure about 4 weeks she will be moved in. I am scared about all of this. I am scared about the time frame.
I am scared about not having help. I am scared she might be to much for me.

But here we go…...

has not moved in yet. We are STILL waiting for her long term healthcare to kick in, she will need 24 hour supervision. It is taking soooo long, but that is o.k.

We still need a little time to finish some things and then get her stuff (some) out of storage and move it in.

We should finish the drywall in the master bedroom this weekend and I can get it painted.

I was going to give her the much bigger room at the other end of the house, but while we have been staying in it fixing up the master (from my roof leak), I have come to enjoy the space and I will surely need my space once she moves in.

I was thinking about giving her the master bedroom with her own bath, but she can’t really do things on her own and we have 7 of us living here already. That is lots of bathroom time- let me tell you. She wouldn’t be able to utilize the bathroom like a normal person (she is in a wheelchair). She won’t be able to personally use the mirrored cabinet or the one below ect.,ect.

I am thinking of putting the girls in there and giving her the current girls room and the “public” bathroom is right across from that door. Then we can ALL still use both bathrooms without feeling like we are invading her privacy.

I am not trying to be selfish here, just realistic.

We’ve not gotten along in the past. She is very onery, can be spiteful and very mean. I think she is humbled by her stroke quite a bit and she’s had to quit drinking which will most deffinately help!!!

I have asked her which room she would prefer and I really don’t thing she cares as long as she is with family and is comfortable.

Funny how things work out. I moved out at a very young age. My mom and I didn’t really keep in close contact for about 19 years. Then she moved here where I live when my grandmother died and I realized why we didn’t really keep in contact. One of my life long friends likes to describe my mother- in a very nice way- that she is “a piece of work”. She had a stroke in January and is in a rehab. She used to be very independent and a strong woman. Now she is living in a wheel chair with no use of her right side. She can barely talk. She will be moving in with my family and I here shortly.
I guess now it is really time to bury the hatchet and “get along”. There isn’t really anyone else to take care of her, my sister had to live with her for part of those 19 years and refuses to now.

So here we go….. shortly one of my things I will be working on as it will be in my face on a daily basis. G.

I’ve found the only way I can get along with my mother without fighting or arguing is just to let her control the majority of the conversation and certain other aspects of my life… sad, but true.

for about 2 years all i ever do is scream at my mother, i know my pain and hatred in life aint her fault but yet i feel i need to get my anger out, she just always seems to be there when i hit rock bottom. i’ve really tryed my best but some how i just cant help shouting and haveing problems with her i need to get along some how.

I am guilt free I guess…..mistakes were made and apologies accepted but I still don’t fell comfortable talking to her anymore. I have no idea what to do and wonder if I should seek help. Where do I go when friends are not the thing and Parents are the issue?

Every time I get mad at my mother, I do some inane task so I don’t make the situation worse. Which I always do. I’d like to get along with my mother, but I don’t even know where to begin.

I had forgotten I had given up on this goal. Well, after a lot of prayer and believing, my mother and I have a relationship. She calls me and we talk. Not just her talking and me holding the phone. She came to visit me in Tallahassee and we had a nice time. She is also planning a trip to New York for the two of us. It is amazing how God can move in situations. I thought this goal was impossible but now I believe that nothing is impossible with God.

If you are still having an issue with this, remain prayerful. Ask God to heal the relationship. He can will do it. Just believe it.

I AM A LIVING WITNESS

I am single,34 years old have been living with my mom and my only brother.As South East Asian family, it is still common to live with parents even as adults.My story is so complicated and long but I try to keep it short.6 months before my stepdad passed away, he told me that he wanted to divorce my mom cause he just couldnt take her horrible attitude.Not only him who thought that way cause I thought and think the same too abt her attitude. She doesn’t like to be told she is wrong.She wants to have final say all the time.Rough and negative words always come out from her mouth till this second.I asked her parents abt some of these traits and they told me that she has been like that since small and that was why whenever they had to go out, they always took her along with them and left the other 5 siblings with the maid.As I wrote above that she doesn’t like to be told she is wrong thus I keep all the things to myself and whenever I get really hurt, I just stay in the room and only say thing like “Good Morning” and then I just lock myself in my room.This is against my nature cause when I lived with my real dad and paternal Grandma (the both passed away), we always confronted and disscussed with each other when something was not right or someone felt hurt.I have been living with my mother for abt 15 years and I just can’t look up to her as a woman, a mother and most of all as a human being.I am so deeply wounded…..I can’t wait to get out of this house….This past 6 months she has not been able to walk properly after her knee surgery and I have a strong feeling that this is a PUNISHMENT for her…....