have faith that everything will be okay

Whatever happens,everything allways turns to better! :)

My mom keeps telling me that everything’s going to work out. But here I am, so close to graduating from college and…I have no prospects for the future. If my aunt can’t get me a job at the passport office here, I have no idea what I’ll do. Probably work two to three jobs with little or no benefits that I hate just to make ends meet. Thinking about the possibility of doing that for the rest of my life isn’t all that uplifting. It makes me wonder if I was ever supposed to make it this far.

I have my green card interview in a couple of days’ time. We’ve been busy putting together masses of photos and documents to prove we are a legit couple. I’m nervous and I really hope we just sail through it. Fingers crossed. This whole immigration thing has been hanging over us for a couple of years; it will be so good to have this box finally ticked. :)

Do I want everything to be okay? Yes

Do I have the faith everything will be okay? No

Life and people will fuck you over either way about it.

I know life is good. I know there are good things and good people in my life. But even the best things can fall apart.

I’m not very good at having blind faith. I guess I need some stuff to work so that I can have faith that the rest will come together. But right now, not much is working. Hmmm.

Keep the faith keep the faith keep the faith.

I’m not very good at having blind faith. I guess I need some stuff to work so that I can have faith that the rest will come together. But right now, not much is working. Hmmm.

Keep the faith keep the faith keep the faith.

I feel I am making progress on this front. I have been in a bit of a funk for the past few days, but feel like I am out of it now and ready to tackle the world and my goals again.

In recent weeks and months I have watched myself move along, out of a deep depression to a state of mind that feels a lot more human. My relationship is more peaceful. My job situation is still going nowhere but I am gaining the strength to tackle my fears and am hoping to be able to turn a corner by Christmas. (If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen, but that is my hope.)

In some ways life still sucks and I’m still very frustrated. But I am learning the art of acceptance and patience, and am impressed by my progress.

I am accepting the things I cannot change, and doing my best to make progress and take steps towards my goals. Of course, I slip back every now and then but there is definitely more peace in my heart. There are more moments of happiness and that has to be a good thing.

this would be so much easier if I believed in God.

I feel sad, and lonely. Life isn’t turning out the way I wanted it to, and I feel lost and frustrated right now.

I know this will pass, but it still it hurts.

I have to find the strength to keep going, stronger than ever, and not to be afraid of the unknown.

My nanna is going for an operation next week, to get treated for cancer.

It made me sad when my mum told me to say goodbye “just in case”
My mum has never sounded so unsure about anything..

Death gets harder, as you get older…
I just need to have faith…

Wish her luck.

—-<—@