Always believe the best of people.

that there really are some good people out there.

(This requires a little backstory.)

This summer, when we went up to Illinois for the family reunion, we stopped in Marion for the night. I noticed that there was an Italian deli in a mini-mall behind our hotel, and filed the knowledge away for future reference. On the way back, I suggested we stop there and eat. (I’m really burned out on Cracker Barrel…for the rest of my life, perhaps.) And it was wonderful – so, so much better than the crap we normally eat on the road.

My parents went up to Iowa this week, and on their way back, they stopped in to the deli for lunch. Got to talking to the lady behind the counter (the owner, I assume), and the story of where they’re from and how they found the place came up. The lady asked if they made this trip often; my parents told them once or twice a year. She then offered to make them a hot meal the next time they came up – said it’d take no more time than the sandwiches. (Hot meals, mind you, are not on the menu.)

I’m guessing this is a woman who understands road food. Trying to find something good and relatively quick to eat in a strange town is nearly impossible. So she’s offering good food to a couple of travelers…who, at best, might return twice a year. Repeat business, perhaps, but not enough to break the bank. She was just being nice.

How cool is that?

but sometimes, people are just bastards.

Not all, of course. Just enough to make your head hurt at the end of the day.

says it all:

“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

It started around Christmas, when a few chance encounters with strangers made my day – simply by them doing something nice for me. In the hustle and bustle of it all, these people really helped me out, whether they knew it or not. And given my general grumpiness, made my day as well. Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to treat everyone as if they were having the worst day of their lives. It’s amazing how much nicer people are when you’re especially considerate of them.

Then a few conversations with FFB got me to thinking. He’s extremely negative and suspicious of others, which he realizes is overcompensation for being extremely gullible in the past. All of that applies to me, as well. And I’ve decided I don’t want to be that way. I’m happier when I think good things of people. So I may get burned…I may also meet some wonderful people. I’m inclined to think the latter will happen more than the former.

Yesterday, R and I were in the parking lot, waiting for the cars parked on either side of us to pull out so we could leave. A man and his young son approached. The man told me he and his son were homeless and hungry, and asked if he could have some money for food. It was so, so hot outside, and they looked so tired. I gave him the rest of my cash – it wasn’t much, just $6 or so, but it was all I had.

As we pulled away, R told me how shocked he was that I did that…he usually just ignores them. (Normally, so do I, though generally it’s because I have no cash and feel bad for being unable to help.) And he mentioned the people (we’ve all seen them, I think) who aren’t really homeless, but pretend to be.

I know all this. There could be a million sinister backstories for this man and his son (if, indeed, it really was his son). But what if he was telling the truth, and my $6 meant he and his child could go inside an air-conditioned restaurant and get a hot meal and a cold drink? I chose to believe he was telling the truth.

It’ll take some practice, I know, to really accomplish this goal. I’m undoing years of distrust and suspicion here. (And no, I’m not going to go around giving away my last dollar to homeless people…if I did, I’d be homeless myself.) But I think it’s worth it, in the end.