Catapult my Photography Side-Career

I have alluded in several of my posts to my debilitated state of indecision regarding the progress of this goal. For many months, even years, it has lingered in a state of the unknown… undecided whether to progress it forward as a lifelong ambition or allow it to simply loll in the natural state of unconscious progression. To take ownership over something, one has to be truly engaged with its vision, to have a strong sense of patriotism to its progression and above all else, to be unwaveringly committed to its purposes and outcome. Do I have such belief?

Whilst I indiscriminately ‘dabble’ in a number of different occupations and ventures… there are only a few which are fuelled by something more than the allurement of a change of winds or a heightened sense of challenge and adventure. Such fleeting occupations are mere transitions of thought or responses of changing temperaments; they have not the infallible resolve of lifelong ambitions. Through the years, this creative slipstream of photographic journalism has expanded in my life like a river fighting the boundaries of its river bed. Its torrent grows stronger, its flow pitches in a channeled and inspired direction, and its mild flowing waters become surging floodwaters forming great tributaries in their wake. With subtle intimation and gentle persuasion, like delicate raindrops almost unnoticeable in their soothing nuance, these small droplets together create a mighty deluge… my passive creek bed has formed a river.

As the Phantom of the Opera powerfully announced ‘this is the point of no return’… a future shrouded in mystery, a dream camouflaged in opportunity, a ‘clear blue sky’ moment of life where we are given the chance to go somewhere we’ve never been before.

“Photography records the gamut of feelings written on the human face, the beauty of the earth and skies that man has inherited, and the wealth and confusion man has created. It is a major force in explaining man to man”

Edward Steichen

A common idiom spoken of children is they ‘can never sit still’. These words whether communicated verbally or by means of an exasperated look were expressed in no uncertain terms on countless occasions when I was growing up. We must all pacify as we grow older – that evil restlessness that took possession of our young mischievous minds subsides and in its place resides a much more docile and mature adult. (For most of us).

In photographing adults, I never find myself perplexingly maneuvering my camera to capture a glance in my direction – more often than not, people want their photo taken. With children however, like anything… it is a novelty at first but very quickly loses its appeal. As soon as a camera appears, 3 year old girls become beauty pagaent models and little boys become cowboys or superheroes however… After a few minutes the excitement wears off, the camera becomes yet another competitor for their attention and a bored look of indifference and stubborn rebellion starts manifesting itself upon their once eager little faces.

I took a series of photos for a friend and her two young girls a few weeks ago. The original plan was to take some family portraits, however our plans were thwarted by the absence of Dee’s husband who had come down with the flu only a day before. Nevertheless, not wanting to miss the rarity of a beautiful and sunny Winter day, the four of us girls decided to spend the afternoon together down at the park.

In the several hundred photos I took, no less than half would have one child (or both) hanging perilously off her mothers arm in desperate attempt to escape or otherwise be examining some leaf, stick or foreign object in effort to ignore the camera. I ended up putting my camera on burst mode hoping for one ‘fluke’ opportunity where I might by chance capture three faces looking at me and smiling… a very rare and sought after moment.

I had a wonderful afternoon and loved many of the pictures because they did, in their zany and somewhat unconventional composure, capture children as they naturally are – inquisitive, moody, possessing a very short-attention span, adventurous and crazed by an uncontrollable restless nature. It certainly wasn’t quite as “easy” as a formal photo-shoot with adults who are very particular about the way they look, stand and appear in front of the camera, but it was indeed a lot more fun!

In some ways, I have always loved photography because it gives me a position of meditative introspection and isolation. Observing the whitened orb of an African moon silhouetted between the forks of a weather-torn tree in the wild deserts of Namibia, tracing the colourful descent of the sun’s weakening skies or capturing a pensive smile or meditative expression on one whose thoughts are afar off the consuming urgency of life… such moments encapsulate the beauty of photography – the ability to capture the diverse expressionism of life.

Observation in this sense is however only one of the many aspects of photography – such moments as mentioned above afford us a reflective view of life where the silence of our thoughts diminishes the need for words and our singleness of mind trains our eyes to see with greater clarity and understanding, however this is not its sole objective. Another aspect of the lens is to teach us to engage with life… to not simply be a silent observer, a non-participator or soulful bystander. Through photography we can capture the vibrancy of life, the fun, excitement and exhilaration of the journey. We can learn to live, to love, to laugh and to become engaged with the world. However… to accomplish all of this we must transition ourselves from bystander to participator, we must learn to engage, to work with people, to observe all the variances of life not just those captured through the small rectangular-shaped viewfinder.

My photography journey has necessitated that I make this so-called transition and become more holistic in my embrace of photography. I am working with people, an aspect of photography I never would have foreseen a few years ago. Last weekend I took a drive down the coast with a couple who are getting married in a few months time. We went down to a beautiful golden beach which was made all the more radiant in the sun’s last hour of day and I took several hundred photos of them loving life together. There was no pretense, no false smiles or charaded behaviour – it was an hour of pure enjoyment, the participation of life and exhilaration of ‘the ride’. We walked through a mysterious sort of forest and took off our shoes to wade beneath the shadowed waters of an old hardwood pier, we watched the sun glinting its golden light upon the deep blue oceanic horizon and had fish and chips in a seaside themed café. Though I cannot say with any honest reflection that I endeared myself to the thought of more regularly spending time with people in a such a manner for any length of time… I did for those few hours enjoy the participatory aspect of photography in a way I’ve rarely experienced before.

Photography encapsulates so many elements… beauty, history, art, expression, love, creation, unforgettable moments and irrepressible memories. Yet its boldest acclaim is, I believe, the translation of ourselves into the photograph – just as a painting takes on the character and artistic interpretation of the artist, so does the photo interpret life through the eyes of the photographer.

We explore facets of our own selves through the viewfinder of a camera… those finer details our eyes naturally gravitate to, the framing of an image – the perception of our views, the focus of our photograph – a reflection of our natural inclinations and internal beliefs. My most recent wedding provided the opportunity for me to not only widen my reach of photography and challenge me to a new level of skill and creativity but also to foster skills in organising people, communicating effectively and orchestrating photos in such a way that necessitate full cooperation of all involved. It was a large wedding party of four bridesmaids and four groomsmen and the diversity of locations provided not only a logistical challenge but also a task in finding the delicate balance of light needed in the vastly different locations.

The photography of weddings is not something you can always be completely prepared for. There are unforeseen moments of change and diverse challenges and every decision is prompted by an innate reasoning of spontaneity. Every photography experience for me is an opportunity to learn, to grow and develop my skills of creativity and fast decision making, it is by no means ‘textbook material.’

I believe we are all closet poets and actors who seek self expression outside the context of our natural worlds… we leave our handprint on footpaths, graffiti our names on concrete walls, etch our initials on metal doorframes in public toilets, and flesh out the memory of our lives on myspace and live journals. Why? Because we want to give expression to our existence, we want to instill on earth the memory of our lives.

In pursuing photography, I never cease to be amazed at how many people want to be photographed. With a camera poised in view, their persona changes from conservatism and polite etiquette to one which exposes candid extroversion and wild abandon… they pose, laugh and act as though their audience were many and adapt a sincerity of self that is oft not seen in any other light.

I had the opportunity about a month ago to take some candid photos of people at an event hosted by my local church. Each time I passed this group of young guys, they would glance over at me hopefully and then, the moment eye contact was made, would shrug and regain their “cool” composure. Every time I passed, I felt their eyes follow me until the one time I stopped, turned around and asked if they would like their photo taken. The reaction could almost be considered contrived… it was as though they had been waiting breathlessly for the past hour for me to ask that very question of them.

I love photography because it captures self-expression… it freezes in a single frame those fleeting expressions that are often lost in the fast pace of time and pursuits and exposes truth, personality and beauty in moments which would otherwise be overlooked. Photography is just another diverse form of graffiti and poetry – a way of inscribing our signature on life.

I fear I have adopted a degree of skepticism in relation to ‘weddings’. That which was once regarded as the holy uniting of two individuals has now become a commoditized and somewhat detached pursuit of ‘perfectly manufactured happiness.’ Tradition has been replaced by ritual, happiness becomes a well-rehearsed act, ‘I do’ is spoken as a passing comment with no regard to commitment or sustainable belief and the perfectly manicured occasion hangs in the delicate balance of perfection and calamity.

Renae and Geoff’s wedding, whilst somewhat unconventional was indeed a breath of fresh air. They walked down the aisle to music that meant something to them both rather than the traditional pre-packaged ‘wedding waltz’, the small chapel was filled with family and friends who were invited out of relationship rather than just blood commonality, the wedding party was small but intimate including only the two closest friends of the couple, the atmosphere was free from tension and anxiety and even the wedding photos were orchestrated in such a way as to capture the couple in their natural happiness, rather than posing and masquerading their true selves for the sake of a camera.

The day was free from pretense and contrived fabrication – it was in every way, a true and honest reflection of the hopes, dreams, values, personalities and love of the married couple. My participation as a photographer was no different, an enriching experience in every way.

Success in any chosen endeavour happens upon us in the most unlikely of ways. In defining success, I do not hasten to infer success as ‘the gratification of an ultimate end’ but rather ‘the blooming bud of new beginnings’. Many of us in our journey of life try to circumvent circumstances and manipulate people to our favour, to seize those golden opportunities that pose as the answer to our prayers and give little regard to the spontaneous and unplanned properties of life. We hasten to believer ourselves masters of our own destinies and with the power granted by such a belief, seek to circumnavigate our lives by its sureties, its unblemished promises and guaranteed successes. Some people live their whole lives by this premise, not deviating from the path of security lest they be befallen by some calamity or deceived by some unknown fiend. Sadly, these very inhibitions become the ultimate end of their demise as the safe life, whilst offering security, fails to endow one with the rich fulfilment of success or achievement whilst treading the path of the unknown. One can never be surprised by joy or elated by life, one cannot ever feel the edged razor of risk and the breakthrough of victory that follows, one can never see the opportunities that lie shrouded from those treading the path of safe security, one can never experience true wonder or be startled by artless compulsion, one can never truly live.

The irony of this ‘safe’ philosophy we have so artfully developed and critiqued over the years is that it bears no distinction when paralleled to the life of an open, spontaneous and free individual. True life can never be manufactured; there is no pre-packaged instruction kit on ‘LIFE’. We can be inspired to live well by Oprah, trained to harness our emotions by the likes of Doctor Phil, be taught the Zen of meditation by Buddhist enthusiasts or the art of motivation by zig ziglar but… the rest is up to us. As I reflect upon my journey of photography, I realise even more how ill equipped I would have been to try and fabricate its success; to try and plot its journey – its peaks, its accomplishments and the path upon which it has travelled. I did only one thing to aid in its success – I took a camera in my hand possessing no knowledge and little skill and I started to record life. This one little step led to many more and with every step I take, another opportunity follows.

My photography adventure has taken me around the world, it has captured expression, it has compared life, it has discovered wonder in the frailty of a flower and peace in the quietness of a desert. It has shared life changing moments with people and frozen memories in archival colour that will evoke emotion and instill happiness of thought for many years to come. And now it has taken a different road, it has turned a corner and now poses new challenges, demands greater technical expertise and necessitates the treading of unfamiliar ground. I am taking photos for Youth Alive Queensland, working with different lighting situations and capturing photos on a much larger scale to anything I have ever worked with. A stadium filled with four thousand people, a stage lit up like fireworks, pulsating movement, effervescent vibration, split-second lighting changes, crowds multiplied, colour magnified… just another challenge which will help to make me more experienced, more qualified and more confident in photography, an unexpected and surprising turn of life which would never have been discovered were it not for the sake of risk.

I have struggled with this goal no end – trying to find the delicate balance between hobby and career / passion and obligation. I never want to become like so many photographers – so engaged with their career and fixated on the dollar that they lose the soul of their art. To avoid this seemingly inevitable end, I found myself for some time shying away from anything remotely connected to photography. Perhaps I subconsciously thought that by disconnecting myself from photographic expression, I would be protecting it from exploitation, yet in this very process I achieved the very thing I was trying so ardently to avoid – losing the soul and spirit of the art-form.

I love capturing moments, particularly those of people poised in natural symphony of dialogue or expression. People enjoying life, savoring the moments, laughing uncontrollably, hiding a smile; People downcast with sorrow, children with lifeless expression, lost to despair, loneliness prevailing upon their brow, questioning life, questioning hope; People in love, words among friends, unstifled laughs, awkward glances, quietly embarrassed smiles, lingering gazes, truth expressed; People captured in hedonistic pleasure, dancing when they thought no one was watching, relishing in delight, letting go of all restraint, enchanted by the moment; People giving hope, smiling to a stranger, hugging a child, giving hands openly, giving up reluctantly, caring unreservedly; People expressing themselves, fashion flair exposed, shyness captured, arms outstretched in animated vigor, hair wild and unrestrained, colours subtle and conservative, colourful hues mixed with thoughtless abandon, subtlety of smile, warmth of expression, enquiring faces of confusion, silent despair, questioning of truth.

Photos expose truth in a person just as writing, poetry or art can portray. They freeze-frame a micro-second of time and from the detail of the moment give expression and reflective understanding to how we felt, looked and acted at that very place and time. My photos will not always be personal reflections of an individual, but they will in their own way tell a story of a time in my life or someone else’s that can be personally relatable. The Metro Women’s Favour Conference provided an avenue for me to re-launch my commitment to photo-journalism… to capture happiness in its very element and provide memories of a time when individual’s lives were challenged, enriched and changed forever.

To add to my portfolio of photography exploits is a Scottish Wedding. One of my work colleagues was married several weeks ago and requested that I be the official wedding photographer. As with all things of life, there are climaxes and equally are there disappointments… to some extent I think this particular occasion falls into the latter category. There were several contributing factors which led to this outcome; the planning of the event, the communication and my technical competence which fell short of adequate in some respects.

Though my high standards of perfectionism were not met, others who saw the finished photographs could find no fault and praised the results with genuine respects. It was only a few closest to me who admitted that indeed the photos had not equaled my previously held high standards. Most importantly however, the married couple were elated with the photos and I walked away with a much more realistic concept of the slogan ‘failure is the ingredient of success.’

The wedding itself was set in a beautiful stone church in Fortitude Valley. The groom and groomsmen wore matching green tartan kilts and Scottish getup and the bride wore a simple but stunning dress of ivory. I viewed much of the wedding from the high organ balcony at the rear of the church. The long balcony gave a perfect outlook of the stage and took in the full scope of the church. High cathedral ceilings drew like curtains high slatted beams across the length of the building and the tall steeple was supported by large roman columns. From the rear of the church, these pillars lined the wooden pews like an ancient temple and provided a frame for the stunningly colourful stain glass window showcased behind the altar.

The ceremony was of a formal Catholic nature, yet in some ways I feel the formalities and religiosity downplayed the true symbolic nature of marriage. Rather than upholding the value of love and marriage in its holistic sense, the wedding was more focused on the institution and bylaws of matrimony. The priests’ mishaps of speech, disregard of program and forgetfulness of names also added colour and humor to the ceremony. Indeed, his whole persona inspired similarities drawn between him and Rowan Atkinson’s performance in ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral.’ The one error that caused many to stifle a laugh was the unforgettable moment when he wished upon the happy couple that they would live a happy life together filled with fidelity.

The wedding photos were taken on a golfing green at North Lakes Golf Course. I accompanied the wedding party as we drove carts to one of the farthest greens and with the setting sun throwing rays of gold upon the green horizon, champagne and tapas were offered and laughter was in no short supply. I had quite an effort trying to round up the wedding party and assemble them for photos. The green tartan kilts provided a constant inspiration for jokes and foolery and the wearing of them necessitated changing some of the groomsmen’s poses whilst at times shielding my eyes and stifling a laugh. With champagne glasses in one hand and a heightened laugh on every face, it was not hard to take photos that captured the amusement and fun of each moment.

It was a great opportunity and a fun day had by all. I have realised however the importance of having at least a handful of failures in our lives for it is only by these that the successes are measured. They are the stumbling blocks over which we can become better, try harder, learn more openly and succeed more extravagantly. Without them, we will simply tread a mediocre path of little progress which maintains steadily but never moves forward.