move forward

I have realized that I focus too much on the past. I practically live there, in the past where I have no control and I can’t change anything, where everything seems so bleak and meaningless. I have to work really hard just to live in the present, and even harder to imagine the future. I guess I stay in the past for two reasons. One is because its easier to live in the past and focus on regrets and failure than actually doing anything, and two because I think that if I analyze everything to the enth degree then I will be able to find answers. I have no many questions, why why why why why did all this happen, etc… but I’m not going to find answers. No one ever knows why things happen. I just have to accept my past and move on. I have to forgive others, forgive myself, and focus on now, and tomorrow.

I’ve moved forward, and right back into his arms.

The last few months were pretty awful for me, but if that’s what it was going to take for us to get to this point, then so be it.

I’m ridiculously happy at the outcome of this. For awhile there, I really wasn’t sure what was going to happen, and the stress from that nearly killed me.

Now I just have to figure out what I’m doing about the moving situation.

I guess it’s no secret that there have been some changes in my life recently. I’m not moving to the city (for now) and I’m currently single again (also for now). This wasn’t my idea and I’m pretty devastated by the whole thing. I honestly have no idea which way this is going to go at this point, and it’s very frustrating.

The purpose of putting to goal on here is so I can move forward, regardless of what direction that may be. Until I figure that part out, I’m at a bit of a standstill, unfortunately..

and accepted it and let go or forgiven where needed and carrying forward what I’ve learned, I now look for what comes next from here.

the things I need to do to ready myself for sharing. Then, and only then, the sharing.

So much of my life has been a monument to the past. I have let people, events, fears, guilt, etc. keep me from letting go of the things that hold me back and keep me from making that break. I blame no one, but I need to break that rear view mirror and head forward full speed ahead.

This title is the name of an old song most of you won’t remember. I’m not in the greatest emotional place right now, and need to move forward with my career after a very difficult year characterized by a personal loss and a professional setback. I’m blessed to have a very caring, patient and supportive wife and family, but I need to release myself from this crippling perfectionism in order to move forward and make them proud. It’s time to get started!

Half of me is still in the past, & the other past is now in the present. I have to let go, & move forward, which I am trying hard to do!