be a better son

Parents have an indelibly positive influence on us—we all can and should be better people because of them, and for them.

Today I spent most of my day with my dad. We usually don’t get along but yesterday I set a goal to “be a better son” so today I tried it. It was odd, we talked all day like the last five years of uncomfortable silence never happened. It was a weird day. I don’t know wether I wanna do it again.

At the suggestion of my great aunt, I showed up as a surprise for my mom’s birthday. Sure it was a bit of a death march to drive from Texas to Kentucky and back in four days, but it was totally worth it. It really made her happy. And props to my great and and the folks at the assisted living home she’s in for not spilling the beans and keeping it a secret!

I take the time I have with my father for granted. I never think about how long he’ll be here and how long I have to be with him, learn from him, show him that I care. I owe this little bit to the person that I take after so much and I never knew until I lived with him.

I am writing one e-mail per day to my Mom. Most of them are short. This is not impressing – but it is something.

My Mum is the most wonderful person I know. She has not had an easy life, her set backs are too numerous to write about but despite all of what life has dished out she has remained true to herself and given her all so that we (children) could rise above our meager surroundings. I often feel guilty when I think of all the times she has helped me out of trouble or been the first one there to lend a shoulder or a warm hug – I cannot say the same. She is a standard bearer of love and magnanimity who puts a lot of us to shame. For her I will try to be a better person.

i continue to forge a relationship with my mom. it feels good to be able to rely on her again and give her some emotional support as well. this is my number one goal. however, accomplishing all the other ones will help me acheive this one.

I have been open and honest with my mother. i feel like we are building a relationship again, its really nice.

my parents, especially my mom do a lot for me. just so you know i’m 16 so i cant do a lot of things financially to be a better son. Anyways, my mom provides everything for me, i don’t have my liscencs so she is my acting chaffeur during swimming and water polo seasons. She keeps tabs on everythiing i do, especially my grades. I’m not a horrible student, but she wants no c’s. I’m eligible to recieve my licence on december 1st this year, but that particular date also coincides with the house payments. i dont want to sound like a brat or anything but i feel like i’ve waited long enough to get it and i just want it. it’s completely unjustified the way i feel and i’m really horrible about it to mom.

First off, i usually don’t talk to my mom, i argue with her. Its over every stupid little thing. She loves me and puts up with it, but i want to stop. It seems like everytime I start talking with her something will come up that I did wrong or screwed up on. Its really frustrating! Well, when she does this I feel a need to jump in to defend myself, cutting her off and sometimes yelling. I always lose control of myself in those situations and I just want to know if anyone has any advice on how i can shut up and listen or just be quiet and nod my head in agreement?

thanks a lot

-scott

my mom’s dead and I hate my father…fuck it all and fucking no regrets