Have Over One Million Dollars in my Checking Account

I have a little over one hundred dollars in my checking account right now.

I think.

Twenty-six months since I updated this goal. A hundred dollars in my checking account. That means I’m progressing toward this goal at the rate of four dollars per month. How long is this gonna take?

life is no fun with a million dollars. forget about it, there’s not enough time to spend it all. waste of time, really.

It’s merely a matter of exponents. And exponents are just little tiny numbers up in the corner. I mean, they’re not even, like, regular size numbers, right? So how hard can this be?

Formerly called: Make Lots of Money Trading Commodities Futures.

Financial goals are supposed to be more readily attained if a specific dollar total is stated. So here’s a starting point.

The idea is to “make lots of money trading commodities futures” and/or via other legal means, and transfer those vast profits into a readily available liquid form; that is, straight into my checking account.

Yeah, I know, checking accounts don’t pay high interest, and they’re only insured up to a hundred thousand dollars, blah blah blah. That’s the point, really—to be so financially secure that I can afford to have a million bucks just sitting there, doing nothing, waiting to be spent!

So if I decide to make a ten-grand donation to the Salvation Army, or leave a thousand dollar tip at Denny’s, or help a friend or relative buy a house or a car, or buy a small apartment building to convert into temporary housing for the homeless, or take a spur-of-the-moment cruise on the QMII, I can just write out a check and do it!

Won’t that be, like, so cool?

A million bucks, then, in my checking account. For starters.

I’ll keep you apprised of my progress. Starting, as I am, from zero, the only way to go is up!

No progress to report. No money in the account. No account, actually.

First I have to put aside a comparatively small sum with which to open a trading account. In the meantime, I should be paper trading. Do you hear that, self? You should be paper trading!