Recover from my eating disorder

I fell back into anorexia about 5 months ago, and it’s gotten particularly bad. Everyone in my family can see how thin I’ve gotten and I don’t have an excuse anymore. I don’t want one, I just want it to go away and stop controlling my life. I’m tired of snapping at people, pulling out fistfuls of hair, recording every calorie out of habit, and running on the treadmill until I feel like passing out. Sometimes I can’t get up off of the floor or out of bed and my poor boyfriend has to pick me up. I hate what this has done to me and I long for the day when I am finally happy.

I’ve had an eating disorder for a year now, and I can’t stop it. I’ve tried, and tried but every time my mom says something about my weight, it’s back to counting calories and shoving toothbrushes down my throat. For about a month I was doing really well, but when my mom had to take me jeans shopping because “shes gotten bigger” and then I stepped on the scale and read 119.5 its been torture again. People are starting to ask my sister if I eat enough and my dad won’t buy my being sick excuse much longer. Please, someone who has gotten over this, help me. I can’t let anyone close to me find out. Please, please, help me.

For various reasons I have been suffering from disordered eating for a number of years. It got particularly bad in the last year of university when I was under a lot of pressure, and has caused me to gain a ridiculous four stone over the last couple of years. I have tried on my own to shake this but haven’t been able to; currently seeking professional advice on how to continue.

I helped my ex-girlfriend overcome her own eating disorder a few years ago and she was able to beat it through a combination of therapy and personal support from me and her family. I hope that I will have the same positive experience with my own.

Not an option. But still, I do it.

my eating disorder(s) have been going on for over five years now… from anorexia to binge eating to bulimia (non-purging, or fasting) to some terrible combination of all three at once –
i’ve been in and out of therapy and now i am back in it. i have a second session with my therapist tomorrow, and i am so scared, i feel like a lost cause… i feel defined by my body and my eating habits. will i ever have a normal relationship with food?

I’ve had binge eating disorder for 5 years now. It started when I was 17. I just started seeing a therapist for it this year, I’ve told my family and many close friends, and have made some improvement. I haven’t binged for a month but I’ve also been eating junk. I hope to get back down to a healthy weight, love my body, and learn to eat normally!

I realized crossing the street the other day. If I made a choice to treat my body poorly, it was one mistake. It doesn’t have to be followed by another mistake. Basically, what I realize is that life is a series of choices. I just have to make sure I have enough time to be able to make it from one choice to the next, without doing it automatically and not thinking.

And trying to get out of the rut. Going to meditate about this tomorrow to see what I can do.

It lurks always. It is unmanageable, uncontrolled and it creeps up on me so often.
I have slipped back into old habits. I wish I could be normal in this aspect, but it seems impossible. I still want to work on being healthy and stop causing myself damage… but we all know what it’s like.
Once it takes you, it seems unstoppable.

I have Been bulimic for around 4 years
and i want my life back
i want to enjoy myeslf and not want to punish myself everytime i eat .