call my dad

it sounds bad but i never call my dad. hes always calling me. id hate for him to think its becaue i dont care because i do, very much. it usually slips my mind. its crazy how a simple thing like a quick phone call can get pushed aside in favour of other, frankly less important things.

and sounded really NORMAL and SANE, thank the Lord… he had a great NORMAL weekend with the family, driving a stationwagon down to Medicine Hat… scattering the ashes of Uncle A & Grandpa on a hill overlooking the farm… he interacted with my aunts and uncles, he’s been helping L to get her life back in order, and A is down to visit him for a week. things are grand for him. and he sounded okay, so all’s good.

THANK YOU LORD for small blessings, for big blessings and for a healthier/healing family

a phone call.
him sappy sad.
telling me that all he does is go to the casino.
blatant attempt to scare me into thinking he is spending some future inheritance.

didn’t work.
don’t care.
he can keep his money.

also tried to call both sisters while walking the boulevard.

and asked her to update my dad on my whereabouts
a cop-out, i know, but at least it’s a little piece of contact.

Its rough, because I know he’s not telling me any of the things going on with him. I know he went to rehab. He knows I know. The only way I know anything new is when my step-mom tells me. At least I know he’s still alive, and he knows I love him.

We did have lunch, though. I actually got to see him in person, and ensure myself that he at least doesn’t LOOK any worse than he did a couple months ago.

I really don’t want to be one of those people with dad issues. He really disappointed and shocked me in December, and I’m trying to rise above.

We’ll see.

and i’ve done it again!

this is getting easier

and he sounded happier today… even though he doesn’t listen to my words, he only hears what he wants to. so, i guess he heard what he wanted to.

...and it wasn’t too painful either, just turned aside the bad topics when he tried to start ranting on them. told him i would call again on my next day off (friday) before i volunteer at the provincial archives.

I will do this tomorrow.

I will also plan to see him this Christmas, no matter how painful.